


That's The Way It Is

by R_S_666



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood and Gore, Body Worship, Clothed Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gentle Sex, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Lust at first hold, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Past Sexual Abuse, Red Dead Redemption 2 Spoilers, Rough Kissing, Sad Ending, Suicide Attempt, Threesome, Vaginal Fingering, aftermath of drunken sex gone wrong, drunken sex gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:56:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_S_666/pseuds/R_S_666
Summary: A tragic love story our hero Arthur finds a young woman that is a need of help.  Soon after helping her he don't understand what comes over him when he spends time with her.After meeting Charles whom she spend time with he to falls under her spell. She doesn't know she has this power over men.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s), Charles Smith (Red Dead Redemption)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	1. the stranger

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real fan fiction, I followed events of a game. I've done other fan fictions before but this is the first. That I didn't make a whole new story with any characters from games.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur find a lone scared horse on the way back to horseshoes overlook. He tries to calm it, but it leads him to a young girl in trouble.

I was born in a poor family we always managed to get by the hard times. My father worked hard as he could but he couldn’t keep up with the work. I loved my father more then life it’s self, he was everything to me. We did everything together, taught me how to fish and how to use a gun. 

When I was ten something bad happened to me while I was coming home from school, father took me out of school because he couldn’t walk me home because he was busy at work. He hired a teacher for me that later became my stepmother. She kept me busy with school work and house work, so I would never have time with my father. 

At the same time I could feel and dream about things to come, I was scared by it because I didn’t understand it. My step mother tried to take me to someone to help me understand it, but she thought it was a waste of time. I fell under her lock and key, because she was worried what others would think if they found out. I didn’t care because I didn’t want to know anything about anyone, so I thought it was the best at the time. But later I regretted living under her lock and key. 

Several years later when I came to an age I no longer needed a teacher, she started working me like a slave, any thing to keep me from my father. Since she no longer was a teacher, she did what she could with helping out with the money.

Father got sick after my 19 birthday, he worked himself to hard until he got sick. Later we found out it was TB, from that day he fell under her lock and key. She locked him up in a small room in the back of the house, I tried to talk to him thru the door but she found me and dragged me away. Every time I tried she found me and drugged me, after awhile she started abusing me every time she found me.

Later that year he died sometime in the winter, it felt like everything was taken from me. I was alone and hopeless in the world, left alone with my step mother the heartless bitch. She was cruel to me always treating me like a work horse, she also made it so I gave her no lip. If I did there was hell to pay, she would remind me not to mouth off by beating me or whipping me, whatever she felt like. 

After his death the times got worse, she wasn't happy with the beating and whipping she started cutting me. I wanted freedom I knew I could run away but I was frighten I knew nothing of the outside world. I couldn’t help thinking about the freedom I longed for, I often dreamed about being free. But I knew there were many dangers out there. There are people that like taking advantage of a young woman that’s way over her head.

One of the persons in my mind is Les, when I was ten and walking home from school one day. When the saloon owner sixteen year old son Les tricked me in following him to the side of the saloon. Where he was rough with me as he sexual abused me, he never forced himself on me but he put his finger into me. 

I begged and pleaded him to stop touching me but he gripped my legs so hard, he left bruises. After that he tried to get me to touch him but I refused so he slapped me. After he was done with me he let go of me, I ran home in tears I coward in my room where father later found me. Every time I would think about running away, I quickly remember the time I was ten, knowing the fact there’s people out there like Les. The outside world frightens me and fearing the unknown frightens me even more, That’s what keeps me trapped here with the bad memories of my father dying and my stepmother. 

Months past after father has passed. It was spring at last, I was tired of the snow and cold. 

While stepmother was gone to the store, I was doing some chores I knew something bad was going to happen. I tried to get past the feeling but I couldn’t, I knew Les was coming for me. I knew my stepmother sold me to him, he became the saloon owner soon after his father died.

I saw a wagon pull up in front of the house, I walked over to the wagon, I saw him jump down while the driver stayed in the drivers seat leering at me, “Well Iris I haven’t seen you since that day that I played with you. You turned into a very pretty woman, oh yes Miss Burns she’ll do very nice for my collection.” Les said. 

“I thought you would be happy with her.” She said as she turned towards me.  
“Now get your things and get out.” She said.

He jumped down from the wagon and walked over to me, he grabbed me by the back of my neck.  
“It’s best you do what your told.” He said as he shoved me towards the house.  
“I’ll never be your whore.” I screamed as I ran towards Misty.

I named my horse Misty because her color remindeds me of a misty morning.

I jumped up onto her back, I raced away as fast I could push her. I thought I got away when I heard a gun shot, before I knew what happened she threw me. I looked at her leg and saw blood running down her leg, “Easy girl.” I said as I stood up. I tried to calm her, she was scared. She tried to stay put, another gun shot rang out. She ran away from me, I watched as she ran down the road.

Les came upon me on my father horse, “Your mine and you can’t get away from me.” He said as he got off the horse and grabbed me.

I started to fight him, doing everything in my power to get him to let me go. I tried pleading with him but he wasn’t listening to me. I somehow managed to hit him hard in the balls, he threw me to the ground and pinned me.

“Now you need lesson in manners.” He said as he started to rip my clothing.

I fought against him as hard as I could fight, he grabbed me by the neck. 

“Don’t think I won’t hit you, I will hit if you don’t stop fighting me.”  
“Please stop.” I cried as I clawed at his hand.  
“I’ve wanted to rape you for all these years.”  
“Leave me alone ” I cried as I fought him as I felt his hand on my waistline of my knickers.  
“No, I’ll never leave you alone, I want you to bad to just leave you alone. Stop fucking fighting me.” He said as he tried to jerk my knickers off.

With not having much luck because of me thrashing and fighting to get away, he let go of me and I saw my chance to kick him hard in the face. Soon as I was freed I ran for it, until I heard a gun shot followed by intense pain in my leg.

I fell down on the road, I crawled off so no one would run me over. I quickly tore off my sleeve off of my blouse and tied it around my leg. He was either a bad shot or he just want to stop me from running because the bullet just scratched me just like Misty.

Les walked up to me, “No more fighting.” He said as he grabbed me by the neck. With his tight grip on my throat it made it hard for me to struggle as he removed my knickers. Somehow I managed to scream, “Please someone, anyone help me.” I screamed while he climbed over me.  
“Scream all you want no one will help you.” He said.

As he was about to shove himself in me, I heard a horses coming towards us. I kept crying for help, help came running in a form I never would of known. It was Misty she came running over and knocked him away from me, I stood up and ran over to her. I held onto her, when I saw Les staggered to his feet with his gun in his hand.

He held his gun towards Misty, “Come here Iris or I will shot your damn horse.” He said angrily.  
"Please don't shoot her, I'll come with you just please don't shoot Misty." I pleaded with him. 

I started moving towards Les, my focus was on Les and his gun trained on Misty. I failed to notice we weren’t alone anymore. It wasn’t until I almost got to Les when the stranger reached out and grabbed my arm and held me to his hip.

I looked up at the man with tears streaming down my face, “Please let me go.” I pleaded. 

He didn’t respond to my plead just held me to his hip. I tried to pull free but he tightened his grip, his grip was so tight I knew I was going to have a sore and bruised arm afterwards.

“Please sir he’s going to shoot my horse.” I cried as I kicked his leg as tempt to free myself.  
But he wouldn’t let go despite my attempt to free myself from his grasp.

“No, he’s not.” he said as he had his own gun trained on Les.  
“Let her go and leave us alone partner.”Les said as he held his gun on the stranger.

I was relieved to see Les move his gun from Misty. I looked at her, she was calmly standing there. Now that Les wasn’t threatening to shoot her, I was still afraid that he was going to.

“Don’t think so mister.” The stranger said.  
“Please sir let me go, he’s going to kill my horse.” I cried.  
“No, he’s not because if he moves his gun he dies.” He said.  
“Why are you here? Getting in the way of me and my new whore.”  
“Just leave her alone.” he said.  
"I’ll duel you for her.” Les said.  
“ok.”

The stranger let go of me, I went over to Misty. She nuzzled me, “It’s ok Misty.” I said calmly as I stroked her neck. I stayed there watching the two men duel for me, I was hoping that the stranger was the better gunslinger then Les.

I stood there watching as Les didn’t stand a chance in the duel, I fell to my knees as relief washed over me. I was freed from Les and from being his whore. I didn’t understand what that meant, because I didn’t know what a whore was. 

I’ve seen woman around outside of the saloon, when father took me to town before he got sick. He never left me alone because he feared that Les was around, after I became a teen I started to refuse to go with him. Because I knew what Les would do if he saw me. 

I was also glad Misty was saved, I fell to my knees and cried uncontrollably. I was filled with overwhelming relief.

The stranger came over to me and knelt in front of me, "Miss." He said softy.

I didn't respond to him, I just sat there crying as I looked down at the ground. He reached out and hooked his finger under my chin, I flinched as he drew my head up so he could look at me. That’s when I realized my blouse was tore and it barely covered me. My skirt was tore but at least it wasn’t showing anything.

I became frightened of him and not knowing what he’ll do to me, with my bare flesh showing. I started shaking like a leaf as I tried to cover my bare breast, as I moved away from him.

“Hey miss it’s alright, I’m not going to harm you.” He said softy as he reached out towards me.  
I pulled away from him, “please don’t touch me.” I pleaded in a whimper as I pulled my legs against my chest.

With a sigh he removed his coat and handed it to me. I took it and slipped it on, it was three times to big but it covered me. I started to relaxed as he got off his knees and sat on the ground.

“Miss can you tell me what just happened? I was riding along the road until I found an upset horse with a cut on it’s leg. It came running towards me. I tried to calm her but she wasn’t having it, so I followed her here and found you in trouble.”

I gave him back his coat and said, “It’s nothing that you need to know, before you ask no I don’t need help.” I got on Misty and I left him standing there.

While I rode back home I felt someone following me, I didn’t do anything to mislead the person I just kept going.  
After I got back to the house, I sneaked in and went to where father kept his shotgun from above the fireplace.  
I went into the kitchen, I found my step mother standing against the sink with her back towards me.

“Oh dear step mother you thought you could get rid me that easy.”  
“Iris what are you doing here?” She asked as she turned around to see me aiming the gun at her head.  
“I came to kill you bitch.” I said as I fired. 

I painted the wall and the sink with blood and her head, I shot her again for the hell of it in the gut.

I knew the head shot was going to do the job, but I wasn’t happy with the only one shot. I stood there looking at her body, the head was gone and there was blood everywhere on the wall and the sink. Her guts were hanging out of the huge whole in the stomach.

I stood there watching the blood soak into the floor boards, I started feeling sick from what I just done. I just thought she was a hog, I had to butcher her to feed us. With that thought the sickness was gone, while I just stood there looking at the ruined body of my step mother, I couldn’t help to feel at peace.

All that suffering that she caused gone in one action, she had him locked away from me and the world. I was free to live my life now, finally free to leave the house. But I have no clue where I’m going or how to live in the world, well I guess I’ll figure it out I thought.

I turned around and saw the stranger standing there, he stood there watching me making no move to do anything. I noticed his eyes kept wandering around the room, before going to the gun in my hand.

“How long have you been there and why are you here?” I asked as I laid the gun on the table. I already knew he was there for the whole thing, so I didn’t care for his answers. I stood there watching him, I finally got a better look at him and noticed he looked familiar. I knew I saw him before but I couldn’t remember when and how, I didn’t really care anyways. 

I tried to walk past him, he caught my arm.

“No, you don’t walk away from me again.” He said as he picked me slightly off my feet and roughly shoved me against the wall.  
I yelped after my back hit the wall, “let go of me.” I said as I struggled.  
“No,” He said as he shoved his knee between my legs.  
“Then do whatever you want to me I don’t care.”  
“I’m not here to hurt you all I want is answers.”  
“It’s nothing you need to know.” I said.  
“No, your wrong tell me everything that I walked into.”

Since he left me no other choice, I told him everything that he witnessed and took part in.  
After he got his answers he let go and backed away from me, “What are you going to do now?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Please come with me.”

“ Why?" I asked.  
"Because you don't have any other choice and I would like for you to come with me."  
"Again why?" I asked.  
"I don't know the real reason why I'm asking, just please say you'll come with me." 

Just then I remembered where I saw him, "Wait are you Arthur Morgan by chance? I read about someone like you in the paper. Oh I’m Iris by the way that’s if you haven’t known yet."  
“Yeah I heard that man call you by name, I’m sorry being so rough with your arm. I didn’t want you to go with him and yes, I am Arthur. Will you come with me knowing that I’m an outlaw?” he asked.  
“It’s ok Arthur you had to do what you had to. You won't take no as answer will you? Like you said I don't have that much of a choice.”  
“No, I'm not going to take no as answer not from you." He said.

"Then I guess I'm coming with you. Can you please get Misty ready?”  
“Sure, is her stuff in the barn?”  
“Yes, right by the door.”  
“Ok get ready I’ll take care of her.”

I went up to my room, changed my clothes and packed as much as I could carry. I started to head out of my room, that’s when I saw my Indian necklace on the dresser. I remembered that my father told me, that he had given the necklace to my mother on there wedding day.

She gave him the necklace on her death bed when I was two, she made him promise that he would give it to me. I was five when he told me everything and gave me the necklace. I grabbed the necklace and put on before leaving my room for the last time. I went back downstairs where Arthur was waiting for me.

He looked at the necklace and back at me, “I didn’t realized you were Indian.” He said as he watched me as I grabbed a burning log from the fireplace. 

“My real mother was half and the same goes for my father, they grew up in a tribe together before the tribe got wiped out. They weren’t there when it happened, when they came back the tribe was dead. They easily passed as white so they lived well here.” I said as I started to burn the house down. 

He just let me get the fire going, we walked outside soon after the fire started to rage. 

“You’ll be happy to know that you aren’t the only one in with Indian in them. We have a guy that’s half black and half Indian in our gang. Maybe he could teach you some stuff about them.” He said as he climbed up on the wagon that Les had driven here. He looked around it and finding nothing in the back, he climbed out and asked if I would like to ride along with him. 

“I would like that.” I said with a smile.  
“Are you ready to go?” He said as he freed the horses from the wagon.  
“Yes, where are we going?”

He told me and I realized it wasn’t that far out of Valentine, I’ve been there once with my father. He took me there because it was a place that he loved to camp with my mother in the first years after they were married.

We went to our horses and started on the road, I was a little behind him thinking about everything. I realized I knew nothing about the world, I don’t want to go around thinking I’m stupid so I moved up along side him. 

“What is rape?” I asked. Soon as I asked that question, I wanted to take it back because I already knew the answer.  
It was to late to take it back because he stopped and looked at me.  
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that?”

He sat there watching me for a moment, "No, it’s ok. I was shocked you would ask that after being sold as a whore."  
"I mean you don’t have to answer that question I got the idea what rape is.”  
"Ok can I ask you a question?"  
"Sure."  
"Do you know anything about sex?” He asked as he shifted slightly in his saddle.  
“No, I know nothing about sex or what a whore is. All I do know is not knowing about the open world.”  
"You were sold as a whore and you know nothing. How old are you?"  
“I’m 19 years old sir, are you going to enlightened me of the world you saved me from?"

“Yes, a whore is a woman that sells herself to a man, he’ll pay to have sex with her. For you to understand what sex is. The best way to be shown.”  
“Will you show me what sex is then sir?” I asked.  
“First stop calling me sir, maybe someday someone will show you, let’s keep going shall we?” He asked as he got his horse to move.  
“I don’t know anything in the world and now I’m set off in the world with no knowledge about anything.” I said as  
I started crying.

I didn’t look at him, when I heard him up next to me.

I just felt a hand on my leg, “Your afraid aren’t you?” He asked.  
“I am, I know nothing about the world, my stepmother isolated me from the world. I was alone in the world, I still am and it frightens me.” I said as I kept looking at Misty neck.

I heard him sigh, before he said, “Why? If we talk would you feel better?”  
“Because she didn’t want anyone finding out what I can do. Yes I would feel better if we talked about things.”  
“What can you do? Never mind please come here. We will talk about whatever you want before I take you to our camp.” He said.

I looked at him and realized he was no long on his horse, he was standing next to Misty holding his arms out. I grabbed onto him and let him help me down from her.

We went over to a log and sat there, “So what do you want to know?”  
“Everything there is to know about the world.”

We sat there talking about everything there is to learn about the world, it must have been hours because the sun was starting to set. My stomach started growling, he must have heard it because he chuckled.

“You hungry?”  
“Yes,”  
“Come on I’ll teach you how to track and hunt. I’m not really good at it but I can teach you want I know.”  
“Ok.”

We started to fellow tracks until we lost it, “I’m sorry I’m not good at tracking in the fading light.” He said.  
“It’s ok maybe we will happen to come across something.”

After a while we managed to get some rabbit, enough for both us. We headed back to the horses, set up camp and he started cooking the rabbits.

We went on talking while he cooked the rabbits, after they were done we ate. Time we were done I was tired, I crawled over to the side of the fire and laid down. I heard him get up and walk over to his horse, he came back over and covered me with a blanket.

“Thanks, Arthur for everything.” I said softy.  
“Your welcome get some asleep you had a long day.” he said before moving back over to his side of the fire.  
I sat up and watched him for a moment I felt safe with him, “I didn’t know someone can be as gentle as you.”  
“You know you can trust the fact I won’t ever hurt you like you have been.” He said.  
“I don’t know why I told you what Les did to me when I was ten.”  
“There doesn't have to be a reason for sharing does there.” He said.  
“No, I guess not but I hardly know you and I shared something personal with you.”  
“It’s strange how you can meet someone you want to share everything about yourself with. I know the feeling now go to sleep.” 

I laid back down and closed my eyes, I could feel him watching me as I drifted off to sleep.

He sat there watching me while I slept, he sat there watching me and was very confused by what he felt when he was with me. 

He wondered why he felt so drawn to me, why he wouldn’t take no as answer from a woman he didn’t know. Wondering why he felt like he would do anything to keep her by his side. 

Moments later,

“Arthur please don't go. ” I cried out in my sleep. While I laid there crying, he moved over to me and picked up, he laid me in his lap. He woke me, “Shh it’s ok.” He said softy as I woke up.  
“You’re here.” I cried.  
“Yes, what was that about?”

I moved off his lap and sat beside him, “Oh sorry I forgot to tell you, I can feel something bad is going to happen before it happens.”  
“Is this what you can do and you were living in isolate because of it?”  
“Yes, my stepmother thought people would see me as a witch, she was afraid that people would kill her slave so she kept me under lock and key never to go anywhere and avoid all connect.”  
“Did you ever meet anyone that could help you to control it?”  
“Yes, but my step mother thought it was a waste of time.” I said as I laid down in front of him.

He started to move away from me, I grabbed his wrist.  
“Please stay here.”  
“I don’t think that’s good idea.”  
“Please I can’t sleep without you here.”  
“Alright.” He said as laid down behind me.

Within moments he asleep, I laid there wondering what had him afraid to lay with me.

I soon fell asleep after he did.


	2. the new life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The young Iris finds her new place in the world, Arthur teacher her how to kiss. 
> 
> She happy to find Half Indian like her, making a fool out of her in front of Charles. Because she new a everything, she doesn't think she could get sick after one drink of alcohol.

I didn’t wake until morning, I become aware of some weight on me. I opened my eyes to see him on top and looking into my eyes.

“Arthur what are you doing? Get off me.” I said in a panic after I saw his intent.  
“Shh it’s ok.”  
“No, get off me please.” I said when I felt his hand travel lower the my hip.  
He tired to kiss me but I turned my head, “It’s ok darling just let me have you.”  
“No,” I said as I shoved him off me.

He seemed to wake up, “I’m sorry, it’s better long time since I slept next to a beautiful woman. I was afraid this might happen that’s why I didn’t want to stay at your side.” He said as moved away from me.

“I’m sorry only if I weren’t so dumb, I never would have insisted that you would sleep next to me. I just wanted to know you were still with me instead of at that ranch. After I learn everything about men, will you show me the art of making love?” I asked as I sat there watching him.

He crawled over to me until he could reach out and grabbed my hand, “Yes, I’ll show you.” He said as he kissed the back of my hand. Something about the way he kissed my hand shot shiver up my spine, I felt drawn to him and I would give anything to have him show me now. I wasn’t ready for that step in my life yet, I knew I wanted to know about sex and men before letting him take me.

I smiled at him and thank him for willing showing me the art of love making, I felt dumb for thanking him for that but I had nothing to say besides thanks.

“Well, I guess we should get going.” He said after he cleared his throat.  
“Yes, we should.” I said as I slipped my hands from his. 

We picked up camp, soon after we were on our way.

While we were on the road, “So are you going to tell me about this ranch that has you afraid?”  
“Once I tell you please can you stay away.”  
“Yes,”

“I saw you beating a sick man there, I don’t know why but all I know you got sick from it then I saw you dying.”  
“I’ll be careful.” He said. Just then I had a bad feeling that he acting like something already happened. I shook the feeling, “Ok.”

I couldn’t get past the feeling that he was hiding something from me, I just let go of the feeling the best I could.  
I couldn’t bare to see someone sick with tuberculosis like my father died of last winter.

“So are you going tell me how your parents died?” He asked out of the blue.  
“Well my real mother died when I was young and my father died last winter.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that, what did he die from?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said.

After a days ride we made back to the gang in the evening, we took our time getting there because I guess he wanted to spend more time together. I didn’t care because I like being in his company. 

Soon after getting off Misty, I looked around at the women and men standing around. A half naked boy running covered in mud and screaming, “I don’t want to take a bath momma.”  
“Come here Jack.” His mother yelled as she chased him.

Arthur walked over to me, “Come I’ll have you meet our leader then you can take your time meeting the others.” He said as he held out his hand. I grabbed his arm, “ Do gangs like this have women?”  
“Not usually these women all needed help and we were there to help them.” 

We walked over to a man that looked like a leader, I was shy and didn’t want to make eye connect with him. 

I watched as the mud cover boy ran up me, “Who are you?” He asked.  
“Jack you know better then getting between adults talking.”  
“I’m sorry momma.” he said.  
“It’s ok Abigail there’s no harm done.” Dutch and Arthur said at the same time. 

I knelt in front of Jack, “My name is Iris.” I said. 

Jack grabbed my hand, he told me his name before he started to pull me. 

“Come Iris I want to show you something.” Jack said with a happy tone.  
“Come Jack she can’t come right now.” Abigail said as she tried pull Jack away.  
“Will you come and see after you’re done?” He asked.  
“Yes, only if you let your momma give you a bath.”  
He whined, “Alright.” 

He went off with Abigail, I stood up again and just look around the area.

“Like I said Dutch we have new member.”  
“Iris that’s a pretty name my dear. How did you come a cross such beautiful flower Arthur?”  
“Her horse lead me to her.”  
“Oh shit Misty, I forgot she got hurt can I please go check her leg?” I asked.  
“Yes,”

I just left them to talk, I went go check on her leg and found out it wasn’t to bad. It was just mere scratch I was glad that she wasn’t badly hurt. It just needs a little treatment and it should me fine, I gave her a treatment and wrapped her leg.

After I treated her wound, I stood up and starting petting her, “ Well Misty this is our new home.” I told her as I just stood there patting her. 

“What happened to her?” a small voice came behind me.  
I turned around and saw Jack walking up, “She got hurt.”  
“Will she be alright?”  
“Yes, she’ll be fine.”  
“Good I don’t like seeing horses hurt.”  
“Me neither.”  
“You want to play?” He asked.  
“Sure what are we playing?”  
“I don’t know anything.” 

We started playing whatever he wanted to. An hour later dinner was done, the sun was setting.

Abigail must of seen I was getting tired of playing, she came over to us and pulled him away.  
“Come on Jack time to eat, plus the girl needs a break.” She said as she pulled him away.

I stood there watching as mother and child walked away, I felt a pang of pain while watching them. I wondered what it was like to have a mother that loved me.

“Why so sad?” I heard a female say next to me.  
I looked at her, “I can’t talk about it.”  
“Oh forgive me my name is Merry-Beth, why don’t you come over and talk with us?”  
“Ok.” 

After we grabbed some strew, we all sat at the table and talked. I shared whatever I felt like about myself, everyone was welcoming and friendly. I liked everyone expect for the one that gave me the creeps when he was around. I haven’t meant everyone yet, I still had to meet Charles, Sean and Javier. I only knew them by name because Arthur told me about Charles, the others told me about Javier and Karen told me about Sean.

I couldn’t wait to meet another half Indian, I wanted to know more about the Indians my father taught me some things but not a whole a lot.

Night came and I settled down, I was shown where I was going to sleep. I looked over at Arthur, he gave me a small nod before laying down. I just smiled and laid down with the ladies, “Oh does someone have a crush on our Arthur?” Karen teased.  
“No,” I lied.  
“Sure you don’t.”  
“Leave her alone.” Marry-Beth said.  
“Alright.”

With that said a quiet fell over the gang and everyone fell asleep. I fell in a dreamless sleep, which I welcome because I was exhausted after the events of the day.

Morning came I heard myself screaming in my dream, but I couldn’t see what was going on. 

I woke up it was just getting light, I got up and walked over to the fire. I saw Arthur working on something in his journal. I peered over his shoulder and saw what he was doing, he was drawing me. I must of made a sound because he jumped and turned around to look at me.

“Oh Iris you startled me.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s ok I was just drawing something.”  
“Can I see?”  
“Sure but it’s not done.”  
“I still would like to see it.”  
“Alright here.”

It was a prefect drawing of me, I handed the journal back to him and sat down next to him.

“It’s beautiful, Is this how you see me?”  
“It is.”  
“It’s not how I see myself.”  
“You should.”  
“I never saw a reason to. Can you teach me how to draw?”  
“Sure.”

We just sat there for a moment before he said something, “Can you do something for me?”  
“Sure what?”  
“I want you to come with me to see a girl?”  
“Well, that’s an odd request.”  
“Yeah but I want you with so she knows that I moved on.”  
“Who is this girl?”  
“We were together for sometime until she refused to run away with me.”  
“Sure but I shouldn’t ride Misty for awhile.”  
“You can ride with me.”  
“Ok.”  
With that said we headed for his horse, I made sure to tie Misty. Because I knew she would fellow if I didn’t, I treated her leg before I left her tied to a tree. 

“You have to stay.” She nuzzled me, I patted her. I heard footsteps coming up behind me, she raised her head and made some kinda noise. 

“Is she doing better today?”  
“Yes, Arthur she’s better.” I said as I looked him.  
He walked over to her and patted her, “It’s ok Misty you can trust her with me.” He said.  
“Well we better get going on, after I gotta go help someone.”  
“Alright.” 

I followed him to his horse, he helped me onto his horse before getting on.

We headed thou the trees that were around Horseshoe overlook. We just passed the last tree he stopped, “Why did you stop?” I asked. He turned slightly towards me, “There ‘s no reason.”  
The situation suddenly felt odd, “So what do you want me to do?” I asked suddenly.  
“Just be there for me.” He said.  
“Why am I doing this?”  
“Because I want her to break off connect with me.” He said.  
“Don’t see if this is any of my business.”  
“It is.” He said.  
“How so?”  
“Because I love you.” He said. 

I didn’t know how to respond to do that, so I didn’t this was all new for me. I didn’t understand anything all I knew is we are barely getting to know each other. I felt I’ve known him for years and were like old friends. 

“I don’t know what to say to that, this is all new and sudden.” I finally said something.  
“I understand, you don’t have to say anything to that.”

He got the horse to move again, moments later we were there. 

I slipped off the horse, he turned towards me.

“Stay here.”  
“Ok.” 

With that said I watched him walk up to the door and knocked. Within moments she came to the door, she walked out on the pouch.

I stood there patting his horse and listened to them talk. They stood there talking about me, then something about her brother.

After he said he couldn’t help her, after that was she said something about taking good care of him to me. I felt like saying better then you did, because I knew what she put him thru. Sometimes that’s how this gift or curse worked I didn’t need to connect with anyone to know something bad happened. 

I stood and watched her go inside and he started walking towards me. I got up on his horse as he drew near, he smiled up at me. 

“Thanks for being here.”  
“Your welcome.” I said as I moved back for him.

We went back to the camp, he stopped the horse just outside of the trees. 

“Hop off, I can’t take you where I’m going.”  
“Ok.” I said as I slipped off the back of the horse. 

I looked at him, he slipped off as well. I felt worry wash over me, “Don’t worry I’ll be ok. I’ll be gone for awhile, so don’t worry you pretty little head when I don’t return in a few days.” He said as pushed me up against a tree.  
“Why?”  
“Because I have a lot of things that need my attention.”  
“Alright.”  
“That’s a good girl.” He said before he kissed my cheek. 

He pressed himself tightly against me, with his lips lingering close my face. 

“What is it about you making me love you this soon? We barely met and I find myself loving you, why?” 

I turned my head so I wouldn’t look him in the eye, “ I don’t understand why you would feel this way either, I’m just as puzzled as you are. I don’t know why you would love me this fast, but I’m glad that you do love me. I’ve never been loved since my father married my stepmother, she made sure that we no longer needed each other. Don’t get me wrong I still loved him, it wasn’t returned back to me.”

“I’m sorry that must have been horrible for you.” He said.  
“It was to love someone more then life it self and to have it stripped from me.”  
“You have me now, I’ll make sure you don’t feel like that again.” He said.  
“Thank you.” I said as I pulled him into a hug.  
“Your welcome.” He said as he pulled back.  
“I know what you want to do. Why not do it?”  
“I guess I was waiting for your permission.” He said.  
“You can but know this I don’t know how.”  
“It’s ok I’ll teach you.” He said before he kissed me.

Following his lead, I just fell into it. I slipped my hands from his neck and grabbed onto his vest. 

He pulled away, “I really need to go.” He said he tried to unlatched my gripped from his vest.  
“No, please stay with me.” I pleaded.  
“More then anything I wish I didn’t have to leave you, but I can’t stay. I have to go save someone.”  
“I don’t want you to go.” I said.  
“I know.” 

After a while I finally let go of him, he walked me into camp.

“I’ll see you in a few days.” He said as he swatting me on the butt.  
“Alright.” I said as I walked away.

I went on working on chores, after I was done I went to check on Misty. I untied her and let her join the other horses after I treated her leg. Once she was happily walking over to the other horse, I went over to her and brushed her and braided her mane. While I was working on it, I couldn’t help to think about Arthur’s mouth on mine and being pressed up so tight against him. 

The way I forgot everything in the world at that moment, I didn’t care if I knew nothing about him. All I knew is I wanted him at that moment, now I really wanted to learn everything it is to being with a man.

I jumped when someone touched my shoulder, I looked to see who it was that took me out of my thoughts. 

“You realize your not doing much to her mane.” Karen said.  
I looked at my idle hands, “No, I didn’t realize that. I was lost in thought.”  
“I realized that.” she said.  
“You’ve been with men before?”  
“Yeah, why?” She asked.  
“No, reason.”  
“Oh don’t give me that, you have a reason or you wouldn’t have brought it up. You never have been with a man have you?” She asked.  
“No,”  
“Arthur kissed you didn’t he?” She asked.  
“Yes,” 

“Well that explains why you were in a daze. Well there’s nothing to being with them, just lay there and let them have you.” She said before she walked away. 

I was left there standing nothing but my thoughts, that didn’t help me. I finished Misty mane, I went over to Marry-Beth and Tilly. Marry-Beth said she’s in same place as me, Tilly wasn’t much help. I excused myself I didn’t feel comfortable asking Susan, Molly or Sadie she always kept to herself crying over her husband.

I walked over to Abigail, Jack was sitting next to her playing. 

“Can we talk?”  
“Sure what about?”  
“Men.”  
“Ok let me take Jack over to Hosea for his reading lesson then we can talk.” 

I watched as she took Jack over to Hosea, I felt unsure about this whole situation. I was nervous to have this talk but needed to know. 

She came over and sat back down on a stool, while I planted myself next to her.

“First of all I want to say that you’re the only one I feel comfortable talking like this.”  
“That’s good that you feel that way, because I want you to feel like you can talk to me.” she said.

I smiled at her, “Thanks.”  
“So what about men do you want to know about?”  
“Everything.”  
“Everything huh?”  
“Yes,”  
“Ok.” 

She started out with kissing, I stopped her there.

“Oh you know about kissing?” She asked.  
“Yes, Arthur kissed me after I helped him with something.”  
“Oh ok.” She said with an unsure tone.  
“What is?”  
“Oh nothing never mind me.” She said sadly.  
“You loved him once didn’t you?”  
“All you need to know is I wanted him to ask me to marry him, he didn’t because he was with Marry and I was with John. Just promise me that you’ll treat him better then she did.” She said.

“I promise, I won’t do anything that she did.”  
“Good.” She said.  
“I care about him.”  
“Most of the girls here do, Susan does she has her way of showing.” she said.  
“I want to know how to please a man.”  
“All men are different you just have to let them show you.” She said.

“Then I guess this was a waste of time, I’ll always be to scared to be with him then. He’ll never want me,” I said as I stood up and tried to walk away.  
“Iris wait.”  
I looked at her, “what?”

“Just trust me when I say everything will be ok, I can tell you what you need to know and hopefully settle your mind. A lot people wouldn’t say this about Arthur, because they see him as a rough guy. But he just gentle and kind, if you let him know that your afraid he will be gentle with you I promise.” 

“How do you see him?” I asked.  
“Gentle and kind.”  
“Will it hurt?” I asked.  
“Yes, only a little but if you want him to pause for moment, just let him know.”  
“I’m not a stranger to pain, I was just wondering.” I said.

“Can I ask why?”  
“My stepmother treated me as her own slave, she often beat me and whipped me.” I said.  
“Where was your father?”  
“He was under lock and key in the back room of the house, he was sick and died last winter.”  
“I’m so sorry Iris. What did die from?”  
“Tuberculosis.” I said.  
“So how did Arthur find you?” 

“I ran away from the man that my stepmother sold me to be a whore. Arthur got caught up in that situation when Misty lead him to me. I would have been raped if it weren’t for Misty, Arthur kept him from shooting Misty.”

“He saved you and your horse?” She asked.  
“Yes, I didn’t even thank him for helping me out of that mess he got caught up into. I just left him standing there wondering what he happened to come a cross.”  
“I’m sure he knows that your grateful that he helped.” She said.  
“Yeah.”  
“So what happened after?” She asked.  
“He followed me home and watched me kill my stepmother, where he forced me to tell him what happened. After he asked me to come with him and that’s how I joined you all.” 

We wouldn’t know what time, if it wasn’t for Pearson telling us food was done.

Jack came running over and jumped into my lap, I held him. “I’m hungry momma.”

I sat there tickling Jack, he started giggling. Abigail started laughing at the scene in front of her. 

“Well, I never realized we talked so late.” I said after I stopped tickling Jack.  
“Yeah I know, your so good with Jack. I thank you would make a good mother.”  
“I would love to give a child a childhood that I never had.”I said. 

Jack got up from my lap, “What happen to your momma?” He asked.  
“She died long time ago.”  
“How come?”  
“Jack what did I tell you about asking question?” Abigail said.  
“I’m sorry momma.”  
“It’s ok Abigail, I don’t really know why. My father just said she got sick.”  
“Well, shall we go get some food.” She said as she stood, she grabbed Jack hand and walked over to the stew pot.

I did hope that I could have a son like Jack someday, I would also like a daughter too. I thought as I stood and slowly walked over to the strew pot. I wasn’t a real fan of Pearson cooking but it was better then nothing. Maybe I should help him out. 

I’ll ask him tomorrow when there’s more time, beside I have to keep myself busy or they won’t want me to be around. But I’m sure my position in the gang is fine, because Dutch was happy with my work. He tells me all the time, sometimes coming off creepy. I don’t know what it’s about him but he gives me the creeps sometimes but not as much as Micah.

After dinner and the sun was setting, I heard someone riding into camp. Thinking it was Arthur and I thought it was be nice to greet him. I walked over to them, and found he wasn’t there. It was the guys that I haven’t met yet, “Oh you’re the new girl that’s half Indian. Arthur told me about you, I’m Charles by the way. This with me is Sean and Javier.”

“Nice to meet you three.” I said.  
“Yeah.” Sean and Javier said.  
“Oh don’t mind them they will warm up to you soon, then you’ll wish that Sean never did. Because he never stops talking everything and anything. I’m glad to see another half Indian.” He said  
“Yes, I was looking forward to talk to you and maybe learn about Indians.”  
“Yeah, I can tell you what I know.” He said. 

Just then we heard Dutch say something about party, “Well, perhaps tomorrow if we aren’t busy.”  
“Yes, I would like that.” He said.  
“Well, shall we?”  
“Yes,” 

After grabbing a whiskey from the crate me and Charles sat down next to the fire, we talked about the family we came from.

I didn’t have much of a story because I knew very little, so he did the most of the talking. I enjoyed listening to him, he was fun to talk to.

But the was a short talk because I couldn’t handle the whiskey, being my first and drank it like it was nothing. Even after his warning that I shouldn’t be drinking so fast, but it was all new to me. I didn’t know how the whiskey was going to effect me. 

In moments I was running into a bush, he came over and held my hair back. Until I was done being sick, “Take easy.” He said as he helped me to stand.  
“I’m sorry, this is all new to me.”  
“Yeah Arthur told me that you haven’t been out in the world for long and I was to look after you.”  
“You don’t have to.” I said.  
“I gave him my word and now lets get you to bed.” He said as he picked me up and carried me to bed.

Soon after he put me down and left, I stumbled over to Arthur’s cot and laid down. Soon as my eyes were closed I was asleep. I woke to myself screaming for Arthur in my dream, it was another dream that I couldn’t see what was going on. I couldn’t see thru the darkness, I got up and went back to where I should be. I went back to sleep I was glad I fell into a dreamless sleep. I didn’t understand what was going on with my dreams as of late, they always show me if something bad is going to happen.

I didn’t wake until the sun was up and I heard people moving around. I just laid there, I didn’t feel like moving until Jack came over and tried to get me up. I sat up and ready myself for the day, afterwards I looked around the camp for any signs of Arthur but there was none. 

I went over to Pearson and told him I wanted to help him with cooking. After that I went over to Charles while he was working on some arrows. 

“I’m sorry about the last night.”  
“It’s alright a lot people makes mistakes.” He said.  
“Yeah that’s one I’ll never forget. So when did Arthur say when he’ll be back?”  
“He didn’t tell me, he said after he was done with the things he has to do.” He said.  
“Can yon teach me how to make arrows and maybe a bow?”  
“Sure I’ll teach you.” He said.

He sat there telling me how to make the kinda arrows he was working on while he made them. He finished telling me about his family and told me about Indians. 

“I would love to meet and spend some time with Indians some day.”  
“Maybe one day you shall.” He said as he watched me finish working on the arrows he was working on.  
“Done.”

He checked my work, “Very nice, you’re a fast learner.”  
“You’re a good teacher.”

Just then Pearson call out for me, “Shit I forgot that I was going to help Pearson.”  
“Well, run along if I have anymore to teach you I’ll let you know.”  
“Thanks,” I said.  
“Wait you forgot your bow.” He said as he held it out to me.  
“Oh sorry.” I said as I took the bow. 

I went over to Pearson and told him that was going to put the bow on my horse.

After putting the bow on the horse, I went to help Pearson. 

Hours later I was done helping Pearson and I did my other chores the rest of the day was free time. So I went to Charles and asked him to teach me how to hunt. He agreed to teach me because he had to go away hunting anyways.

He walked me over to Misty, “Is she alight to ride?” He asked after saw the bandage on her. Then it just dawned on me that we’ve been here for a few weeks. I never knew time moved so quickly.  
I checked her and saw it was healed, “Yes, she is.”  
“Well, let’s go Iris.”

With that said we went hunting.


	3. The ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Arthur return to camp after the big shootout in town. Dutch has everyone pack up camp and move.  
> She realizes that she loves Charles and Arthur the same.
> 
> Soon after they moved Arthur and Iris has a misunderstanding over something, Iris tries to drown herself. Arthur fishes her out of the water with a fight, soon as she calms down she feels sorry for overreacting. He helps her get over her past fears.

Days passed Arthur still hasn’t come back yet, in the meantime I’ve learned what it takes to live off the land. I even helped some of the girls get money, they taught me how pick pockets and how to scam people out of money. Karen tried to get me pick up a guy so we could rob him, but I didn’t care for the idea. 

I was doing some chores when I felt something wrong, I didn’t say anything I just ran to where I could see the road.  
I saw Dutch and John coming back at full speed, soon as they got in camp I ran over to them.

“Arthur is he alright?”  
“He’s alright Iris, but we are not. We have trouble coming and we need to get out here now.” Dutch said. 

I stood there watching John as he helped Strauss from his horse. Strauss is someone I rarely talk to, I’ve never had anything to say to him. Every time I did I got flashes of him asking Arthur to do something for him, Arthur talking to Tomas Drowns about money. I clearly see that he had TB, I understood what that dream was about but. I also understood that’s why Arthur was acting like he was hiding something, I warned him.

My warning came to late and now he’s going to get sick and die just like my father did. All because of that bastard Strauss insisted that Arthur to go talk to Tomas. I never understood how he got the money, to lend out when the gang was poor.

Just then I heard another horse come into camp, I ran over to the person that just came into the camp.

“Arthur.” I said happily as I hugged him.  
“It’s good to see you Iris. I’m sorry I haven’t been around but I’ve been busy. I’ve noticed they kept you busy because the times I’ve been here you were somewhere else.”  
“Yeah Charles been teaching some stuff.”  
“Like what?” He asked with a hint of jealously.

“Nothing like that, he’s just helping me with my shooting and hunting.”  
“I really need to talk to Dutch, we’ll catch up later.” He said.  
“Ok.”  
“Good girl.” He said as kissed me on the cheek. 

He walked over to Dutch’s tent, I followed him and listened to what they were talking about. 

Soon as they were done I followed Arthur over to Charles.

“I want to help.” I said.  
“No, we have no time to argue. Dutch say we need to move now.” Arthur said as he passed us.  
“I’m sorry Iris but he’s right this needs to be done soon.” 

Charles went to his horse. He and Arthur rode off. 

I waited for a moment before following them, I kept aways behind them until they stopped at a camp by a lake. I heard riders coming in, I hid until the shooting stopped.

“Go get Dutch this spot will work for us.” Arthur said.  
“I agree.” Charles said before he took off.

I stayed there and I watched as Arthur took the man that they just saved away.  
Moments late he came back, I walked over to him.

“How did you get here before the others?”  
“I followed you.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I wanted to.”  
“I guess it don’t matter now.”  
“Why should it?”  
“What’s this change about you? Your no longer have that scared lost girl look anymore.”  
“I’ve grown up since the last time we talked, I’ve learned a lot, there’s no reason for me to have that lost girl look anymore.” I said as I moved closer to him. 

He went over to a tree and sat down, “I’m glad you fit in with the gang so well, I thought you were going to have trouble fitting in.”

“No, everyone so welcoming I’ve never felt so welcomed in my life.” I said as I stood there watching him.  
“Well, we try to make everyone that joins us feel welcome.” he said as he stretched out his legs in front of him.  
“Oh you all have.” I said as a straddled his legs.

“Good to know.” He said trying to ignore the closeness.  
“Why did you get jealous? When I told you that Charles was teaching me stuff.”  
“After the first time I kissed you, I craved more I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else. Not after I had very little.” He said.  
“Charles and I are friends, I care about him as a friend.” I told him and myself as a pang of pain came over me. 

I didn’t just care about him as a friend I loved Charles. I told him that I loved him after he told me about his feelings for me one time we were fishing.

I couldn’t tell Charles that I loved Arthur, I didn’t want to hurt him like that but deep down. I knew he knew I loved Arthur also. I’m confused, I didn’t know what to do. Can I love both men? I thought as I looked at him he must of seen my sadness.

“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes, I’m sure I love you.” I said before I kissed him. 

We sat there kissing passionately, one moment I was sitting in his lap. The next moment I realized I was draped over him, I felt his hands kneading and caressing my bare back. Without meaning to with a small movement when he moved a hands to my thighs, he made me uncomfortable because it reminded me the time that Les gripped my thighs. 

I moved off, “I’m sorry.” I said.  
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that, I won’t do that again until you want me to.”  
“Maybe you should find someone else that isn’t frightened.” I said sadly.  
“I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

I shivered as a cool breezy came off the lake, “Are you cold?”  
“A bit.”  
“I’ll start a fire.”

He went to gather some wood, the sun was setting I was getting hungry. He came back with wood and couple of rabbits.

“How did you know I was hungry?”  
“I had a feeling you would be.”

He started a fire, and started cooking. It felt like the first night we spent together, but different I wasn’t the lost girl anymore. I had the knowledge to live out in the world alone if I wanted to. But I don’t want to I rather die before living on my own. 

After he was done cooking we both shared the rabbits, afterwards we just sat around watching the fire and enjoying each others company. I was glad to finally spend some time with him after he was away for so long, we talked until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. He must of noticed this because he laid down and he pulled me down to join him.

First light woke me up, I didn’t even know when we fell asleep. All I remembered was being wrapped up in Arthur warm embrace. The fire was dead, I slowly sat up and turned to face him. I lightly kissed him when I thought he was asleep still. But soon as I kissed him, he pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. 

We laid there kissing until we heard someone coming, I pulled away and got up quickly before they got there. I didn’t want Charles to see us wrapped up, I didn’t want him angry at me and think that I was just using him. 

Before the gang came into view Arthur got up and grabbed my arm, “After we are settled here, I’m taking you on a trip. A place you don’t have to worry who see us.”  
“You noticed didn’t you?”  
“It’s plain as the nose on your face, so it’s hard not to notice that you are worried about someone seeing us.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s Charles isn’t?”

I turned to face him, “I’m sorry it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. Please Arthur believe me.” I said in a panic as tears ran down my face. I tried to free myself because I wanted to run away from the situation. He just made his grip inescapable just like when he had held me to his side during that Les thing, he gave me such sore black and blue marks from that. 

Here he is giving me another one, “Let go your hurting me.” I wined.  
“I’m sorry calm down, I believe you.” He said as he wiped the tears away. 

Before pulling me into a hug, I wrapped my arms around him. 

“I love you. “ I whispered against his neck.  
I kissed the side of his neck, “I love you too my little flower.” 

The gang pulled in and I knew it was going to be a busy day, Sadie was helping Pearson while I was helping out in other places. 

After awhile we finally had everything set up, but I could feel another move coming. With the passing days I felt what Dutch and Micah intention before they planned it. I was standing next to the dock looking over the lake when I heard Pearson auguring with Sadie. I didn’t want to help him, because it wasn’t my time yet. 

Then I heard Arthur break up the fight, I heard Arthur and Sadie leave to go shopping.

I went to the end of the dock and sat down, I put my feet in the water. I heard foot steps walking towards me, I didn’t look at the person that came over.

“Hey Charles.” I said without looking at him.  
“How do you do that?” He asked as he got on his knees behind me.

I sighed, “it’s a part of this thing I have.”  
“So you don’t just feel something bad's going to happen?”  
“No, I see whatever the situation I’m in. I saw you coming while I was trying not to think about what bad is coming.”

“That has to be tiresome, I can leave you alone if you like.”  
“It is and I hate it, you can stay.”  
“What would you like to talk about then?” He asked.  
“I don’t want to talk, I just want to sit and relax.”  
“We can do that.” He said as he moved off his knees. He put his legs on either side of me and pulled me against him, we sat the that for a moment without words. 

Moments later he decided to speak up, “ I know you love Arthur too and I’m ok with that because I want you be happy.”  
“I love you too.” I said as I turned towards him. 

I kissed him on the cheek, “I wish things were different and you loved only me, I’ll take whatever I can get because that’s the way it is.”  
“I wish I had something to say to make you feel better about things.” I said. 

“You don’t have make me feel better, I love you and that’s all what matters.” He said before he kissed me.  
We sat there kissing passionately, until I broke the kiss.

“I want to be alone now.”  
“Alright.” He said as he let go of me.

I stood up and walked over to get some food, I sat down at a table. I just wanted to be alone, I started eating alone until a couple of the girls and Jack came over and sat with me. 

After dinner I was walking around the camp, Arthur was back and sitting by the fire. I saw he was in deep thought so I didn’t go and join him. I kept walking until Micah grabbed and pinned me against a tree.

“Is it true you love two men at the same time?”  
“Leave me alone.” I said as I tired to free myself.  
“No, tell me would you love another man, if he forced his way with you?”  
“No,” I screamed.  
“Oh come on.”  
“Stop please.” I screamed.

Just then Arthur came over, “Stop Micah leave her alone.”  
“Oh here is your hero.” He said as he shoved me into Arthur. 

Arthur caught me before I tripped, I kinda fell into his arms.  
“You alright?” he asked after he put himself between Micah and me.  
“Yes,”  
“You can have her, I would rather have someone that hasn’t been fucked anyways.” He said as he walked way.

After Micah left us alone, Arthur walked me to the lake shore. We walked and walked before we knew it we were aways away from camp, neither of us wanted to stop and turn around so we kept walking.

“Charles knows about us.” I said as we walked.  
“See I told you it’s plain to see.”  
“Yeah, bad part is everyone knows too.” I said.

He stopped walking and he turned me towards him, “No, the worse part is if we have sex and Micah fines out, he could try and hurt you.” 

I knew what he was afraid of is the truth, I can’t bare the thought of him not wanting me.

“What are you saying? Are you saying you don’t want me anymore?” I asked. 

I didn’t want to hear the answer, so I took off running. 

“Damn it Iris. “ He said as he ran behind me. 

I ran into the lake, I didn’t know how swim I didn’t care. He saw I was drowning he swam out to where I was, he fought with me to get me back to the shore. 

Once on the shore he wrestled with me, “Your stronger then you look for such a small woman.” He said after he finally pinned me down to the beach.

“Let me go, I want to die. You don’t want me anymore.” I cried as I kept fighting to pull myself from him. 

But the way he was sitting on me, he had my legs tangled with his. My arms were the only thing that was free more or less, he had control over them as he fought with me.

“Stop fighting me, I’m not going to let you kill yourself because you overreacted. I love you, I want you more then you’ll ever know. I was saying we need to be careful and that’s all.” He said as he was still fighting with me as I struggled to free myself.

Moments later after fighting with him, I was finally out of fight and out of breath. 

I just laid there under him as tears fall, he untangled his legs and sat on there ground. While he still had a strong hold on me, he pulled me into his lap. I just laid there looking up at him, letting myself relax. 

We stayed like that until I caught my breath and the tears stopped. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Can you blame me? I love you, I want you so much it hurts. With the idea of not having you or you not wanting me is killing me.”  
“I don’t blame you, I want you just the same.”  
“Arthur I’m so sorry.” I whispered against him neck as I kissed it.  
“I love you my little flower, it’s going to be ok.”

“I’m sorry for being afraid I thought you didn’t want me because of Micah. This is all new to me, I have no clue what to do with myself anymore.” I said as I felt bad about the whole thing.

“No, matter what you thought, it’s not true because I do want you.”  
“You not afraid of Micah?”  
“I am, but if we are careful and he won’t find out.”  
“Yeah alright.”  
“We should get back.” He said as he noticed that was I shivering. He moved me off his lap and started to stand, I grabbed his wrist.  
”No,”  
“You don’t want to return to camp, so you can change clothes?” He said as he pulled himself and me to our feet.  
“No, I don’t want to go back.”  
“Alright.” He said before he whistled for his horse. 

Moments later his horse came running up to us, I looked behind his horse and saw Misty running along because I forgot to tie her.

“She’s bonded to you.”  
“I raised her after she lost her mother. I bottle fed her, so she could live without her mother. She’ll never leave my side. So why did you call your horse?”  
“So we can go somewhere else.”  
“Ok.”

We got on our horses and rode until we were by flat neck station, we rode to the beach and the sun was long gone by the time we were done setting up camp. My clothes were starting to dry, but I was still cold. I took off my dress and put it up on the line that he put up. I was just left with my underclothes, I noticed that he removed his shirt. I couldn’t help to share at him while he cooked some fish that he caught. 

I must of been off in thought, when he was done cooking the fish.

I felt a hand on my knee, “Are you alright?”  
“Yes, why?”  
“Because you were lost again.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“You saw something again.”  
“Yes,”  
“From the look on your face, it must of been good instead of bad.”  
“I don’t always see the bad, I see whatever situation I’m in.” I said. 

Oh please god just change the subject and for the love oh god don’t ask me. In my mind I pleaded because I didn’t want to talk about how I saw him naked on top of me, the fact that I could feel him inside me. I felt him clear as day like he was actually inside me, it was a new feeling I’ve never had this happen before when I felt stuff. 

“Oh.”

After we ate, I stood on the waters edge. I felt him come over, he turned me around to face him.

“What is it?” He asked as he grabbed my hands and put them on his hips.  
“Nothing.” I said as I moved my hands onto his waist, so I’d have skin connect with him.

In truth I saw him on a ship after a robbery that had gone wrong,

“You can tell me what you know.” He told me.

I said noting more and just walked back to the fire, I sat down and just watched the fire. I felt him move up behind me, he started rubbing my shoulders as he kissed along my neck and shoulders. The way he kissed my neck and shoulders always sent chills raging thru me, he was the only man that had that effect on me. 

Charles comes close to cause it, but not as intense. I love Charles to and I desire him also, when we are together he doesn’t make me feel as good as Arthur does. 

Arthur has some odd effect on me, he makes me lose myself when he’s near me. Sometimes he makes me feel like I’m drowning in desire with a mere touch or words.

Again I felt bad about overreacting like I did, but I have no clue what to do with myself. This was all new to me with the aching need to have him to pin me down and put an end to this aching desire I have for him.

I moaned as I leaned into him, “That feels nice.” I said softy.  
“You know there are other ways I can make you feel real nice.” He said as he brushed his lips along my neck. Oh god my mind screamed as I gripped my knickers and held onto them like they were life it’s self.

Since I couldn’t will myself to say something to those words he said, “I know your afraid that I would hurt you like Les did, I will never hurt you.

I sighed, “I’m also afraid of not doing the right thing.” I said feeling shamed.

“Your over thinking, there nothing you can do that’s the wrong thing. How about I try something and you choose if you want to keep going or stop?”  
“Aright?” I made it a question because I wasn’t sure.  
“I have a feeling you know what I want to do to you.” He said as he dragged his lips along my neck.

I shivered as the chills ran thru me from his lips being dragged along my neck as I leaned more into him.  
“”Yes, I know.” I whimpered.  
“How do you know what sex is?” 

“Abigail told me about sex, because after you kissed me for the first time I wanted to know how to please you. So I talked about sex with her to learn what it’s like to be with a man. Plus I’ve seen flashes of what it is.” I said the last fast hoping he wouldn’t catch on.

He moved in front of me, he brought his lips close to mine. “hmmm what did you see earlier?” He asked as he brushed his lips against mine. 

Yeep oh god he caught on. My mind screamed. 

I turned my head to the side, he cupped my face in his hand and turned my head. So I would be looking him in the eyes again.

“Please tell me.” He said as he lightly brushed his lips against mine again.  
“I..I..saw us.” My words fell short as I fell limp against him. 

As the images flashed in my mind, I could still feel him.

He moved his hands to my shoulders in order to keep me from falling towards him.

“You saw us making love didn’t you?”  
“Yes,” I whimpered.

He sighed and pulled me against him, “How much I would like to bed you here and now, I won’t because I know your not ready for that.”  
“I’m ready Arthur but I’m not sure.”  
“Your not ready, we should get some sleep.”  
“Yeah we should.” I said trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. 

I moved onto my bedroll that was next to the fire, I laid down on my back. 

Soon as I was comfortable he came up beside me and propping himself onto his elbow next to me.  
“Do you want me to touch you?”  
“Please.” I pleaded.

He kissed me while he slipped his hand into my camisole, he started caressing my breast while he caressed my neck with his lips. 

I moaned as I let myself melt under his touch. 

“You know this is going to be hard to stop if you tell me to. We can see where it goes, but promise me that you’ll stop me when you get uncomfortable.” he said.  
“Yes,”  
“Say it.” He said as he slipped his hand into my knickers. 

He put hand on my thigh and waited, “Yes, I promise to stop you when I get uncomfortable.”  
“Good girl.” He said as he moved closer and moved his hand between my thighs. He kept slowly moving his hand up towards my pussy, just to test me to see if I was going to tense up. 

This was the first time someone touched me like this with so much love and gentleness, he moved closer so his leg was against mine. 

He watched for any signs of discomfort, when I only shifted my body and spreading my legs for him, inviting him to explore me further. He moved his hand to where I wanted him to touch, he lightly ran his fingers along me. 

“You want more?”  
“Yes,” I moaned.  
“Alright let me know when you get uncomfortable.” He said before pushing his finger into me.  
“You ok? Do you want me to stop?” He asked as he tried pull his finger out.  
I grabbed his wrist, “I’m fine, please more.”  
“Alright.” He said. 

I let go of his wrist, he started to working me with his finger. As he continues with his gentle actions and my mind went blink. I felt him push another finger into me, that’s when my body decided to act like it had it’s own will, it began to move along with his fingers. I started to imagine that he was inside me instead of his fingers, god how bad I wanted him inside and not just his fingers.

Moments later he moved more on his hip as he leaned down to kiss me, I felt his hardness against my hip as he moved his mouth to my neck. He was slightly rubbing himself against my hip, as he kissed his way up my neck to my ear. I shivered as his mouth created chills running thru my body.

“I ache for you, please give yourself to me.” He said as he moaned between kisses. 

The only respond he got was me moaning, I wanted to tell him to take me but my mind was blink and I couldn’t form words together. My mind and body wanted nothing more then to have him end this ache. 

“Are you ok?” He asked. 

I just nodded but it was to dark for him to see it, only light we had was the light from the fire. But it was dying because we were to busy to care. When he didn’t get a good responds, he ran his tongue along my ear. 

I squirmed away from him, “Don’t do that.” I yelped.  
“Oh you can talk?” He said in a teasing fashion.  
“Yes,”

He only laughed, as he kept going while grounded himself into my hip. He kept working me until I came over his fingers, he kissed my lips before laying down. I was still caught in pure bliss to notice that he had moved away, my body trembling and begging for more as I laid there whimpering. 

After a while I came back down to earth, I noticed he had moved away from me.

I saw it was getting light, I realized we’ve been up all night. Suddenly tired I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. I was on the edge of sleep when I felt him leave my side, “I’ll be back love.” He said.

I wanted to fellow to him, every part of me felt heavy to me. I moved to my side and saw the back of him in my sleepily haze. He moaning I laid there looking at his back as my eyes drifted closed, he moved back to me and curled himself next to me.

We fell asleep soon as we were conformably curled up with each other, I dreamt about what happened and him inside me.

I slept until what it seemed like mid afternoon from the shadows. He was sound asleep on his back when I felt we weren’t alone. I looked over my shoulder and saw Javier standing there, I started move away. that’s when the man I thought was asleep wasn’t. 

He grabbed my wrist lightening fast, “Where do you think your going?  
“Javier is here.”  
He sat up and saw him standing there, “I’m sorry Arthur but there’s work that needs done and Dutch is wondering where you two were.” Javier said.  
“Yeah, I bet he is. We will there soon, you can tell him that.”  
“Ok.”

With that said he was gone, we were alone again.  
He signed, “Next time I’m going to pick a place where we can’t be tracked.”  
“Is there a place?”  
“Yes,”

We got ready to leave our camp spot, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay together, I wanted to finish what we started last night. Soon as we got back to the gang, Arthur had to leave to help Dutch with something in Rhodes. It pained me more then ever to see him leave again, I knew something changed after last night. I ached for him I couldn’t stand not being with him.


	4. The Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur been gone weeks after they got to there new camp. Arthur returns in the middle of the night. 
> 
> Poor Iris just got to sleep, when she felt someone on top of her fearing the worse she tries to scream only to have Arthur cover her mouth.
> 
> After she realizes it's him that's on her she relax's, the pair go to an island for a night of passion.

Again I haven’t seen him in days, I went to bed on the second week since he left. It was late and everyone had gone to bed, there were a few still up drinking and telling stories. 

I just barely got to sleep when I felt someone climb on top of me, I started to panic when I thought it could be Micah. I thought he changed his mind on taking me, I can’t stand it when he’s near me. 

I was about the scream for help, when a hand slipped over my mouth. 

“Don’t scream you’ll wake everyone.” 

I pulled the person hand away, “Damn it Arthur don’t do that.”  
“Come with me.”  
He moved off and I sat up, I put my shoes on. I followed him to the dock, where he had a boat waiting for us.  
“Where are you taking me?”  
“Just over to those island.” He said as he helped me into the boat. 

He followed soon as I was seated, he took us to the far side of the island. 

He helped me out of the boat, I helped him pull the boat more up on shore. He went to set up camp, I tried to give him a hand.

“Nope.” He said as he steered me to the beach.  
“I want to help you.”  
“No, sit here and watch the ships.” he said as he sat me down on the sand. He left me there, I did what I was told even when I didn’t want to.

Moments later I was tired and bored of watching the ships, I was thinking about getting up to join him but I felt him coming.

He sat behind me and started to rub my shoulders, “I’m sorry I wanted to set up camp by myself.” he said as he lightly kissed along my neck. 

I shivered as the chills raged thru me, “You should know I’m starting to dislike what that does to me.”  
“Mmm I don’t care that your disliking that because I like the reaction that you give.” He said as he licked my neck.  
I shivered again, “Stop that.” I wined.  
“No, I’ll never stop, we can go to bed if you like.” He said as he moved away.  
“Yes, I would like that.”  
He stood up, “Then come with me.” 

I didn’t waste time in grabbing his hand that he held out for me, he helped me to my feet. Soon as I was standing in front of him, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him as I started pulling at his clothes.  
He broke the kiss, “Hang on we’ll get to that soon.” He said as he grabbed my wrist.  
“Please.”

He didn’t respond, he only picked me up and carried me to the tent.

He placed me on a large bear skin, “I wanted this time to be special, because you are special to me I love you.” He said.  
“I love you too.” I said as I ran my hands over the soft fur.

I was enjoying the way it felt under my hands when I lost track of him, this felt like a dream I never imaged I would be on a bear. I’ve forgotten why we are here in the first place, Arthur never told me why he took me to this island in the first place I really didn’t care because I wanted more private time with him. 

He came over to me, he knelt in front of me. He brought my attention back him by grabbing my wrist and pulling my hands to him. 

“Oh Arthur sorry I was fixed on the bear skin, this is my first time I’ve touch a bear.” I said as I rested my hands on his chest.

“We don’t have to do this.” He said.  
“No, we have to.” I said frantically as I started pulling at his clothes again.  
He grabbed my wrist, “Alright calm down.”  
“I’m sorry.” I said as I relaxed. 

He let go of my wrists, “It’s alright I know this must be overwhelming to you.”  
“Yes,” I said softy.  
“Do you trust me?” He asked. 

As I watched him his hands started to work on the buttons on my blouse.  
“I have no reason not to trust you.” 

He kissed me passionately, I kissed him with the same passion. Moaning against his mouth, when I felt him pulling my blouse off my shoulders. 

I broke the kiss, I reached towards his shirt. I stopped for moment, “Stop over thinking, just do what feels right to you.” He said as he placed my hands on the buttons of his shirt.

I slowly started undoing the buttons, soon as I was comfortable with undoing them the rest were faster to undo. He removed his shirt while I sat there watching him, soon as it was off. I lightly ran my hands over his chest. I just let my mind go blink as I continued to explore his chest with my hands and sometimes mouth. I found myself getting lost in my actions. 

I heard his voice but couldn’t focus on it because I thought this was a dream. It was all to good to be real, he got my attention again by kissing me. I broke the kiss blinked, “Oh Arthur I’m sorry I lost myself again. I thought this was a dream.”

“How long have you been having this dream?” He asked as he took off my camisole  
“A while.” I said.  
“Oh.” He said before he leaned down to kiss and caress my breast. 

He pulled away just for a moment to lay me down, he kissed and roamed his hands all over upper body. I just laid there enjoying the feeling of his mouth and hands on me. I put my hand on his head, I played with his hair while he explored my bare skin.

After awhile I felt like I wanted to do the same, I sat up without a warning.

“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, please could you lay down.”  
“Sure.”

He laid on his back, I moved on top of him. I kissed him on the lips before moving down to explore his chest and stomach. I felt him getting hard under me, it brushed against my core. He bucked upwards after it made connect with me, he moaned as he just laid there letting me take my time.

After a while I did something bold, something he didn’t expect. I moved my butt to his knees, so I could undo his jeans. I slipped my hand into his pants and carefully removed him from the tightness of his jeans, I felt sorry for him after feeling how hard he was in his tight jeans.

He sighed with relief after being freed, “Thanks,”  
“I couldn’t leave it in there, it didn’t seem comfortable for you.”  
“I wasn’t comfortable.” He said as he pulled his jeans off.

While he was laying there I ran my hands up his thighs, until I got to his dick. I sat there stroking him and enjoying the sounds he was making. I knew I was doing the right thing, I also knew it was what he wanted me to do. If I wasn’t forced to touch Les I might never of done something as bold as freeing Arthur from his pants. 

Now I was enjoying the feel of him in my hand, as I ran my hand along it and I lost myself in my actions once again. 

Moments later,

The last thing I knew was me stroking him, now I found myself on my back and Arthur removing the last of my clothing.

“My turn.” He said.

He leaned down and kissed and licked his way down, he slipped a finger into me while his mouth was over my breast and stomach. 

Within moments he had me on the edge when he removed his fingers.

“Please.” I pleaded as I reached for his hand.  
“Oh no your not going to cum just yet.” He said as he gripped my hand and pinned it to the side of me.  
“Then take me please.” I said as he moved over top of me.  
“I plan to my dear little flower, oh god I love you.” He said as he leaned down to kiss me. 

As he kissed me, he was slowly slipping himself in me.  
I broke the kiss, “I love you too Arthur.” I whimpered as it started to hurt. I tensed up as I started to push against his shoulders.

“Shh it’s ok. I know I’m hurting you. The pain will stop trust me.” He reassured me as he kept slipping into me.  
“I do.” I said as I willed myself to relax. 

Soon as I relaxed it was easier on me, with the pain gone, well mostly gone. He slipped the rest of the way in soon as his hips were against mine, he tried to move. 

I grabbed onto his arm, stopping him from moving. “No, I’m not ready yet.”  
He kissed my forehead, “Let me know when your ready.” He said as he moved his upper body to the side so he wouldn’t crush me.

After awhile I could tell his arms were getting tired of holding himself off me.  
I didn’t want this to start because it will end, I loved having him on top and inside me I didn’t want to be part. But I knew he couldn’t stay like this forever as his arms started to shake. 

“Make love to me please.” I said softy.  
“As you wish.” He said as he started off slowly and gentle, treating me with care while he slowly rocked into me. 

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, while I moved myself along with every stroke of his body. I wanted him to stop treating me like I was made out of glass, I bucked against him to let him know he could giving me more passion.

He got the hint and started rocking his body against me harder, I moaned loudly when I felt him go deeper. I thought he was deep as he could go, but he must had more then I thought. We were surrounded with the sounds of moans, heavy breathing and the sounds of content of our flesh against each other.

As his pace got more intense with every stroke, I still could tell he was being careful not of break me like I was made out of glass. I knew he was holding back in his thrust, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what he could do if he wanted to. It kinda scared me knowing he could really hurt and break me if he wanted to. I was glad I was treated with care and gentleness. 

Moments later, 

He had me on the brink again, I know this time the feeling wasn’t going to go away. I was going to be finally complete with the man I love, I’ve been wanting this since the first time I was held against him. 

“Please let me cum this time.” I whimpered in a plea.  
“I’m not going to stop you.” He said with a moan.

He made sure he was going deeper reaching the far end of me, as I cam for him. I felt my inner muscle contract around his dick, he kept going after his own climax. 

“I can’t to hold on much longer.”  
“Don’t.” 

He forgot that he needed to be gentle, he pulled almost all the way out to slammed it into me with one strong thrust. I tried to keep from crying out in pain as he did it again as his seed shot into me. I laid there whimpering under him, as he kept weakly rocking against me. Making sure I got every last drop, soon as he had nothing left to give or it just stopped on it own.

“I’m sorry, for hurting you, I told you I wouldn’t ever hurt you without meaning to.” he whispered as he laid as head down on my chest.

“I know you didn’t mean to.” I said as I played with his hair. 

I reached for his hand with my free hand and laced my fingers with his, he brought the hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers.

“Just remember if I get carried away and hurt you know I never met for you to get hurt.”  
“I know, I love you.”  
“I love you too.” He said as he tried to move off me.

I grabbed his shoulders and tighten my grip on his hand.

“No, stay.”  
“I’m not crushing you.”  
“No,”

He moved a little so he could be comfortable, soon as we were comfortable. We fell asleep still twisted and locked up together.

Morning came to soon, I woke at the feeling of him kissing my forehead before he removed himself from me. I whimpered at the lost, I wanted to feel whole again. It felt like he took something from me with a simple movement.

I moaned softly and yawned.

“Arthur.” I whimpered as I sat up.  
“Go back to sleep my little flower.” He said as he slipped into his jeans.  
“Where are you going?” I asked.

He looked at me with his beautiful eyes, “I’m hungry, so I’m going fishing.” He said as came back to me.  
“Fine,” I said with a pout.  
“Stop that you know I would love stay twisted up with you but I’m hungry.” He said as he crawled over top of me. 

He kissed me, while I kissed him I grabbed the bulge in his jeans. I started rubbing him thru them, I broke the kiss.

“Please don’t leave me.” I whimpered  
“I better go.” He said as he moved to the side of me.  
“But I only hunger for you.”

My stomach started growling, “Now I know I better go fishing.” He said as he wrapped me in the bear skin. He finished getting dressed and left me, I sat up and got dressed. I went to join him fishing.

After we were done with breakfast, we explored the island finding noting of interest expect a pirate ship that had a bad run in with the island. 

We checked inside and found a chest with nothing but rum, “Care to share some with me my lady?” He asked as he drank the rum.  
“No, thank you. Arthur and take that stupid looking hat off.” I said as I turned around and saw he was wearing a hat that didn’t look good on him. 

I noticed that effect that the rum had on him, he was slightly drunk as he finished the bottle. He threw it away and pulled another one out, I wondered where that one came from because I only saw one in the chest. 

He was good and drunk by the time I walked over to his hat, which was on the ground in front him. When he made no move to pick it up, I bent down to pick it up. When I stood back up, I made sure to brush my butt against him. He quickly grabbed my hips and pulled me tight against him.

“Don’t do that.” He said as a warning.

I turned around and face him, I pulled the pirate hat off his head and replace it with his. 

“What? I can’t tease you.” I asked as I ran my hands down his chest.  
He grabbed my wrists, “Don’t do that.” he said in the same tone. 

I ignored his warning and kept teasing him, he only threw me over his shoulder and carried me back to the tent.

Soon inside the tent he was all over me, it was like the rum made him into a crazed beast. I noticed he had another one in his hand, I thought what the hell and drank some with him. Just soon as I had some I felt the effect hit me like a mad train. Shocking I wasn’t sick over some drinks of the rum, so I had some more we both shared the bottle until it was gone.

Now drunk I was pulling his clothes off like a crazed beast, after clothes were thrown around the tent. He shoved me on my back, he forced his mouth on me as he climbed over me. We laid there roughly kissing and bitting each others lips. 

I broke the kiss, “Arthur fuck me like you wanted to last night.”  
“As my lady wishes.” He said before he forced himself into me. 

He roughly slammed himself over and over like he was raping me, I welcomed it while slamming my body against his.

Few hours later, after our fifth time of rough sex. I had no clue what time it was, I was drifting on and off the edge of sleep. He was asleep, I quickly followed as soon as I allowed myself.

The next day came, I woke to sore with a raw body. God what the hell happened last night? I asked myself while my head was spinning and thundering against my skull.

I had no memory of what happened, I got flashes of us roughly slamming our bodies together in a crazed fucking. 

As we fucked like there was no tomorrow or we could die in the next hour. I didn’t understand what came over us, as I slowly crawled out of the tent. 

I barely made it out before throwing up with rum I had last night, after I was done I fell to my side. I laid there curled up into a ball, with head still spinning I couldn’t move. 

I heard him wake up, “Iris where are you?” He asked as moved around the tent.  
“Arthur.” I whimpered softy with the little voice I had.  
He came out of the tent,“Why are you naked out here?”  
“I was sick.”

He covered me with a blanket before hoisting me up in his strong arms, I whimpered as pain shot thru my body. Soon as he picked me up I saw us roughly fucking each other in drunken haze, I could hear my self screaming oh yes fuck me. As he fucked me hard into the ground below us.

“I’m sorry.” he said as he carried me back inside. 

He laid me down onto the bear skin, soon as I was comfortable he came up from behind curled himself around me.

Soon after we were comfortable, we were over taken by sleep again. We didn’t wake until evening, I stayed there laying on my side curled in front of him. I felt better my throat was still sore but at least it didn’t feel like it was tore out, my head no longer spilling or thundering against skull.

I felt wore out and still sore from being fucked, he sat there looking at the bruises on my waist and hips. I whimpered as he rolled me onto my back, I laid there looking at his arms and chest, I saw long and angry claw marks.

“I never wanted to fuck you this hard, leaving you bruised and raw. I’m sorry that I left you bloody, I don’t remember what the hell happened last night or what got into us. I just know it wasn’t good because I see the results, I’m sure don’t want to remember hurting you. You do know what happened last night don’t you?” His voice had such sadness in it, it hurt me to hear it.

“Yes, I have an idea.”  
“What happened?”  
He asked. “Well, we pretty much raped each.”  
“I’m so sorry that this got out of hand." “I know.” I said without realizing the weight of the situation. I didn't know the fact he came close to ruining me, I had no idea how much I bleed until I sat up to looked at my thighs. They were caked in blood, it just hurt just to see the blood and the bruise. I felt weak so laid down and curled into a ball, he curled up behind me and rubbed my back. While whispering I'm sorry, soon I fell asleep. 

After he so bad about almost ruining me, he made it up me by taking good care of me and never leaving my side. While I recovered being roughly fucked, he taught me how do draw. I didn't catch on right a way but in time I knew I would get better.

A trip to the island I knew it was only for a night but turned out to be more, because I wasn't fit to move around. I barely was able to move around as is.


	5. The Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After passing several weeks within each other company. They return back to there lives, Arthur goes to back work and Iris goes back to working with the cooking. With time goes back to normal Arthur gets wounded and is bed ridden for a while. She afraid that he might not make it, she tries to get comfort thru being complete with Charles. To him deny her leaves her hurt and unwilling to allow him to touch her again.

Several weeks later, 

We were on the island not doing much beside enjoying each other company. I was sitting on the beach one day, just when dawn was breaking. Arthur came over to me and sat down wrapping both us in a blanket.

“Why are you up so early?”  
“Because I couldn’t sleep anymore.” I said.

“You know I would love to stay here but I can’t.”  
“I know.” I said sadly.  
“I love having it being just the two of us, I wanted to let you know that.”  
“I do know that and I’m grateful for the time we spent together but I wished it didn’t have to end. ” I said as tears ran down my face.

He sighed, “Yeah I know how you feel, I didn’t mean to take this much time off.” 

I turned so I could look him in the eyes, “Is that my fault?” I asked.  
“No, of course not. I was just saying it wasn’t the plan.”  
“Your plan was to bring me here for sex and nothing else?” I asked.

He pulled me into his lap, “Iris I don’t know what the plan was when I brought you here, yes I wanted to show you the art of making love but I didn’t intend to be here for weeks.”  
“I love you and loved this time we’ve had together.” I said.  
“So you agree that we need to go back.” He said as he tried to move me from his lap.

But I wasn’t having it, “Yes, agree but not yet.”  
“Are you thinking what I think your thinking?” He asked.  
“Yes, if your thinking I’m thinking about sex then yes, I want you to make love to me before we go back.”  
“Well, I’m not going to say no.” He said before he kissed me.

Moments later

We were just sitting there watching the ships go by, “I’m happy with this path I took, I’m surrounded by people that I grew to care for.” I said.  
“I’m glad.” He said before we got ready to leave the island.

I sat there thinking about the people in my life, I’ve loved expect for Micah and Strauss I’ve never cared for them, Bill and Swanson are ignoring but they grew on me.

As for Dutch I’m starting to see the man behind the mask, he always acted like he cared for everyone in the gang but I was seeing a different Dutch. A cold Dutch someone that only cares for himself and the riches that he could get. 

I love most of the ladies of the gang, but Molly still stood out as a stuck up bitch. She always acted like she was better then everyone and I still can’t understand why she’s here beside being a bed warmer for Dutch. She always seems out of place. 

As for Susan, she’s a bossy old woman that seems cold, but deep down I knew she cares for everyone. She acts like she doesn’t that.

We went back to camp, we were greeted by Dutch.

“Where have you two been?”  
“I thought we both need a break, so I took the time to take it.” Arthur said.  
“Well, you still have work that needs to be done. I need you to go talk to Trelawny about those bounty hunters, take Charles with you.”  
“Alright.” 

Dutch walked away, “Well, back to work.” Arthur said.  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, see you later.” He said as he kissed my cheek.

After he left me, I went to Pearson and helped him with the cooking. 

“Well, everyone missed you because they like your cooking better then mine.” Pearson said.  
“Well, I won’t be here all the time. You need to cook better or they just need to get by on your cooking.”  
He laughed, “Yeah, but I like your help.”

Hours later Charles came back with Trelawny, I noticed Arthur wasn’t with them. I got use to Arthur and with his coming and going.

“Who is this Charles?” Trelawny asked.  
“I’m Iris.”  
“The pleasure is mine to meet such beautiful young girl.”  
“Thanks. Well, nice meeting you but I have some work to do.” I said as I walked off.

Charles quickly caught up to me, he walked me over to the far side of the camp away from everyone.

“Your scared about something, what is it?”  
“It’s nothing to do with Trelawny if that’s what your asking.”  
“What is it?”  
“I feel everyone’s troubles are going to get worse.”  
“Why?”  
“I don’t know why. Why does things happen?” I said as I walked away.

I didn’t want to talk about it because I was afraid of it, so I kept going on like I didn’t feel like anything was going on. I tried to think about the time alone with Arthur but I only saw him getting beat up and shot.

Days after Trealawny came into the camp, we got along great, he was a delight. Always showing me his magic tricks, he was fun to be around. 

Arthur came into the camp, he was making his way towards me when Trealaway called out to him.  
He stopped to talk to him, then came over to check on me.

“Well, I was going to steal you away again but duty calls instead. Now Trealaway wants my help with a stagecoach, so I have to go. I needed this time with you, I couldn’t stop thinking about the time we had just the two of us.”  
“Yeah I would have loved more time with you.” I said.  
“Something troubling you what is it?”  
“You know I can’t tell you with everyone around.”  
“Yeah, well tell me later then.”  
“Alright.” 

With that said he left with Trealaway.

Hours later they came back.

I saw Arthur walking towards Dutch’s tent where Micah was sitting, I ran up to him and pulled him away.

After we were out of ear shot from anyone, “Please don’t agree to go along with Dutch and Micah it’s a trap.”  
“I know you mean well, but you I can’t go against Dutch wishes.” He said.  
“Arthur please don’t go.” I cried while he walked away from me. 

I ran after him, he started talking to Micah when I got there Dutch walked up. They went on talking, I tried my best to keep cool because only Charles and Arthur knows about my gift or cures. I wanted to keep it that way, when Hosea said it’s a trap I said it was one.

Dutch ignored us and said they were going. 

I ran up to Dutch, I pleaded and begged them not to go as best as I could. Only to have him shove me away from him, Arthur came over and helped me up. 

“Iris I’m sorry I have to do what he say.”  
“I know you are stuck in the position that your in.” I said.  
“It’s good that you understand.” He said as he wiped the tears away. 

He left me standing there, I tried to run after him but Charles stopped me from going after him. I tried to go back to work, but I couldn’t focus on anything. So I went to Arthur cot and sat there, Charles sat there with me holding me as I wept. 

Several hours later Micah and Dutch came back without Arthur.

“Go after him.” I screamed as I ran over to Dutch. 

I knew that was a bad idea, but I didn’t care I just wanted Arthur back safe.  
“I will as soon as I get a plan going.”  
“This is all your fault.” I screamed. 

I went over to the fire and cried, Charles and Abigail came over and held me. They didn’t say anything to me they just let me be. As a small group gathered around me, John came over and joined us, “I would go after him, if I could.”  
“I know you would John and thank you.” I said.

It was just barely getting dark when I heard, Marry-Beth say Arthur then Karen followed by Dutch. I ran over to them, I heard him telling Dutch it was a trap but he got away. 

They helped him to bed, “Susan can you stay with him?” Dutch said.  
“No, I will.” I said.  
“Ok Iris, I am so sorry.” Dutch said before he walked away.  
“Call me if you need anything.” Susan said.  
“Thanks.”  
“Your welcome.” She said as she walked away.

I sat down in a chair next to him, I grabbed his hand and held it as I rested my head on his cot. I knew Pearson had a hand in this but I didn’t blame him, because he was just trying to find ways for them to be at peace. So they had one less group of people coming after them, I only blamed the ones that made Arthur go.

As time went on I never left Arthur’s side, I stuck by him, I only left when Charles pulled me away to eat something. I ate what I could before running back over to Arthur side, Charles started to worry about me. 

Days later Charles dragged me away from Arthur, Charles took me a little ways from everyone. I tried to go back but he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind a tree.

He sat down and pulled me into his lap, “Iris I know your scared that Arthur not going to recover, you need to take better care of yourself.”  
“I am frightened that he won’t recover, I know he going to but there still a chance he won’t.” I said as I laid my head against his chest.

“I understand.” He said as wrapped his arms around me.  
“Do you?” I said as tears ran from my tired eyes. 

Because I haven’t really slept since Arthur got wounded, I been watching him and hoping he would wake. But his fever won’t break despite my effects trying to get it to break.

Charles pulled me from his chest and looked me in the eyes, “Yes, I would be the same way if something happened to you.”  
“You would?” I asked.  
“Yes, I love you, it would kill me to see you hurt like that.”

“I love you too, thanks for being here for me. I enjoy those times we’ve spent together, thanks for teaching me all those things you’re a good man. You always brighten my days and got me to look forward to when I had nothing to do ever since we first met. I’m sorry that I never thanked you or how grateful I am to have you at my side.” 

“You don’t need to thank me, I did it because I enjoyed our time together.” He said before he leaned in to kiss me but stopped. 

I moved off his lap, “Why stop now? You never stopped yourself from kissing me before.”  
“Because I’m not sure if you really want me to kiss you now.”  
“I do.” I said before I kissed him.

We sat there kissing passionately until he pulled away, “We shouldn’t have.”  
“Why?”  
“Because now I desire you more then I ever did.”  
“Charles please make love to me.” I said as I took my knickers off.  
“Alright.” He said as he put his legs out in front of him.

I crawled onto his legs and undid his pants, after freeing him from his pants I slipped onto him. I rode him until he pushed me onto my back. I just let my body rock with his body while he was making love to me. I tried not to think about Arthur while Charles and I were making love each together. I didn’t want to feel guilty for allowing my desire for Charles to make love to me. 

This was our time and nothing else, as I got closer to cumming I knew he was close. After a few more strokes of his body, just when I was about to cum he pulled out and cam on my legs.

“Why?” I asked as I sat up.  
“I don’t have a right answer because I don’t know why.”  
“You’re the only comfort I have when I don’t have Arthur to bring comfort from my fears. Here I am seeking comfort, the desire to be compete with you and your denying me that.” I said as tears ran down my face. 

I moved away from him and put my knickers back on.

“Here I’ll finish you off so you can be compete.”  
“It’s not the same.” I said as I ran back to camp in tears. 

I ran over to Misty and took off, while John and few others tried to stop me. But I wasn’t having it, I wasn’t going to let them stop me. I went to the saloon and got cleaned up, after I got out of the tub and dressed. I had something to eat before returning to Arthur's side, John met me on the road back to camp. I still had an aching desire to be compete with Charles but I knew I would get over it.

“Little sister are you ok?” he asked. I saw the sadness on his face along with worry.  
“Yes,” I said softy.  
“Are you sure?” He asked, not believing me.  
“No, but I’ll be fine.” 

We went back to camp, I returned to Arthur side. Where I never would leave again, until I knew he was going to be alright.

Charles tried many time to get me to leave Arthur side, he wanted more then anything to talk to me. But I wasn’t about to leave Arthur's side again.

I couldn’t help to think about what happened and letting my desire get the best of me. I regretted letting it get the best of me, I felt guilty for allowing the other man I fell in love with to take me. From this day forward I’m not allowing it to happen again as long as Arthur is alive, maybe after TB claims another person I love dearly.


	6. The recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few weeks later Arthur finally back on his feet. She's glad that he alright her happiness is short lived when she lose someone that's been like a brother to her.
> 
> Iris starts to see who Dutch really is, once she saw him a kind hearted man now see the man who he truly is.

Few weeks later,

A little over a month has past since Arthur and I were on the island, I noticed the time had flown by since I joined the gang.

Within the months time I’ve been with them, I knew what kind of trouble they were in, just like I’d been there with them from the beginning instead of after. I knew Dutch and Micah were to blame for all what happened. I knew Dutch was taking them down the wrong path, I knew this isn’t going to end well. To tell someone about this would give myself away or no one would believe me. 

Another outcome would be someone say I’m trying to spread lies throughout the gang. It would result in me being killed or kicked out, I knew no one wouldn’t harm me but Micah would. I wasn’t so sure about Dutch, I think he would, once I saw him as a kind hearted man. Now I see a cold selfish man only out for himself. Everyone still believed in him, I didn’t fault them because he saved so many of them. 

One morning I was asleep, laying my head on Arthur chest. I woke when I felt him put his hand on my head, “Arthur your awake.” I said still in a sleepily daze.  
“Yes, my love.”  
I climbed onto his cot next to him and we laid there holding each.

I woke up to find it was only a dream, I was still sitting in the chair and he was still asleep. 

Tears streamed down my face as I laid my head down on his chest. I begged and pleaded for him to wake up so I know he was going to be alright. 

“Iris.” He said softy.  
But I couldn’t hear him because I was to deep in my sorrow to know anything.  
He placed a hand on my head, I moved my head from his chest and saw he was awake.

I climbed onto his cot with him, I held onto him like he was life it’s self.

“Everything alright.” He said as he tried to get me to stop crying.

After awhile I calmed down, I laid there holding onto him until sleep took me.

Later that day

I woke to find that I was laying down and he was no longer laying beside me.

I got up and started looking for him, I found him sitting on the dock.

I walked over to him and sat between his feet, I laid my head against his leg. While he wrote in his journal  
after he was done. 

“I’m sorry I would have woke you but you looked like needed the sleep.”  
“Thanks.” I said.  
“I’m sorry you had to go thru this.”  
“It’s alright, I’m just glad your back on your feet.” I said.  
“I love your understanding, your to good for me.”  
“I’m just right for you.” I said.  
“Alright I’ll agree with you on that.” 

We just sat there watching fish jump and ducks on the lake. 

Until Swanson came up to talk to him, after they were done talking. 

He moved his leg that I had my head on, “Iris I need to be doing something, I can’t sit around doing nothing for very long.”  
“I know.” I said as ran my hands along his thighs as I moved to my knees.  
He kissed me, “I know you don’t want me going because I just barely got out of bed.” He said after he broke the kiss.

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself up more against him.

He closed eyes, then opened them back up as he sighed.

“Yes, that’s why. I love you.” I said as I rubbed myself against him.  
“Stop teasing me please, I love you too.”  
“Sorry.” I said as I moved away.

He grabbed and pulled me back tight against him, “What happened to stop teasing me?”  
“I can handled it.” He said before he kissed me.

We sat there kissing, until we heard someone walk up. We pulled away and looked at the person who watched us, “Dutch.” I said with no emotion. 

After seeing Dutch as he truly is, I hated him and blamed him for everything.

“Arthur I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it was a trap. I really thought it was a truce, I need you to go to town and help Bill with something with the Grays.”  
“Alright.” He said.

I kept my mouth closed, I wasn’t talking to Dutch unless I had to. 

Arthur had barely recovered after being beaten and shot, he left me sitting on the dock while he went to town. I knew it was going to ending up bad.

Several hours later,

I was standing outside of camp, I was saddened after knowing what was going to happen. Sean was like a brother to me annoying and liked to talk my ear off, but I still loved him and I’m going to miss him. 

I was waiting for Arthur to return, when I saw some men take Jack while Kieran did noting to stop them. I ran after them but I ended up tripping, Kieran ran over to me he helped me off the ground. 

I shoved him away, “Why didn’t you stop them?”  
“I didn’t know they were going to take him.”  
“You should have known better.” I said before I walked away. 

I walked along the road back to camp, until saw Arthur outside of camp. I went over to him, I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He turned quickly around, I didn’t notice that he went for his knife as well. Until he had it pressed against my throat.

“Iris you should never sneak up on me, never mind that what are doing out here?” He asked as he put the knife away.  
“I was walking back after my failed tempt of getting Jack back.”  
“What?”  
“Jack got taken.”  
“I better get back to camp to see what’s going on.” He said as he got up on his horse. 

He reached out for me, I grabbed his hand as he helped me onto the back of his horse. After I was on, we passed thru the trees to camp.

After getting there we saw a group of people in front of Dutch tent in a panic. We walked over to them, “Arthur have you seen that boy Jack?”  
“No,”  
“I did, he was taken I tried to stop them but I was to late.”  
“Alright we are going to get him back.” Dutch said. 

I grabbed Arthur’s hand, “Please be careful.”  
“I will,” He said before kissed me on the cheek. 

I watched as half of the gang left, leaving behind Micah, Kieran and Pearson. Of course the woman stayed behind.

They didn’t come back until late that night. I was asleep when I woke to find Arthur picking me up, “What are you doing?” I asked in a yawn.  
“I need your company please.” He said as he carried me over to his cot. 

He sat down with me in his lap, we sat there heavily kissing. I felt him run his hand along my skirt, he grabbed it and started to it pull up.

I moaned against his mouth, I felt him reach for the waistline of my knickers. 

I broke the kiss, “What about Micah finding out about us? Your not afraid of him hurting me anymore?”  
“Do you really want to worry about him? If you do I’ll stop.”  
I shook my head, “No, I need this and I need to be compete with you.” I said before I kissed him. 

He moved me to his cot, never breaking the kiss. I could tell he didn’t want to waste time with clothes, I didn’t care that he didn’t want to waste time with stripping each other.

He only took off what he needed out of his way, he removed my knickers and climbed on top of me. 

I ran my hands down his chest, I got to his jeans. I didn’t waste time in undoing them and pulling him out, I stroked him until he was good and hard. Soon after he was hard he didn’t waste time in thrusting himself into me, I didn’t waste time in slipping my hands in the back of his jeans and grabbing onto his butt. 

I held onto him throughout the whole time we made love.

Moments later we laid there drifting on the edge of sleep.

“Arthur I guess I should tell you.”  
“Tell me what?” He asked.  
“Charles and I had sex, it met nothing to me and it won’t happen again.”  
“It’s ok my little flower, I’m not mad at you. Beside you couldn’t help yourself for falling for him too.”

I sighed, I was glad we had a good understanding with each other. I really didn’t want to hurt him like I thought I’d done.

“I love you.” I said.  
“Love ya too.”

We fell asleep soon after.


	7. You’re the Only One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the gang settle down at Shady Bell, she goes back at helping with the cooking. Later gets sick and has to run to a tree. The worried Charles helps hold back her hair, wonders why she's been sick lot lately. She later find out she's with child and tells the father of her child in a way she didn't attend to.

Morning came Arthur just left me laying in his cot while he, Dutch and John talked about the next move to get Jack back. I woke to hear Lenny say that they had company as he walked behind two men. I didn’t like the way they looked, I knew they were bad news. I just sat there watching them talking, until they left then Dutch said we need to move. 

Arthur and John went to find another place, I got up and put my selfishness aside and walked over to Charles to ask him what was going on. I guess I should be happy I was talking to him again, I haven’t said much to him since he denied me. 

“We need to leave here, I’m sure you understand why.”  
“Yes, I do.” I said before I went to help.

We were all packed when John came back, he lead us to a run down house in the swamp. Nothing felt right about the area, it had an eerie thickest about it. Arthur came out of house looking tired and dirty like he been working all day to clean the place. But he happily greeted us, Dutch put Pearson and Susan to work. I tried to go to Arthur so he could relax after working, but Molly got in the way when she wanted to talk to Dutch. 

I watched as they rode away I felt sorry for Arthur, he never has time to just kick up his boots and relax. But I understood they wanted to get Jack back, Abigail sick with worry. She’s been crying and snapping at everyone, John got the worst of it. She blamed him for Jack getting taken, but I knew Kieran should be at blame because he could of tried to stop them. The blame didn’t stop there, the blame fell on Hosea and Dutch for getting mixed up with those two families. 

The next morning Dutch came back alone, I just watched him as he walked over to John. I was helping Pearson so I couldn’t leave my station. But I overheard them talking about Jack and Arthur was in the city waiting for them to get there. They left, I kept working making sure they had something good to eat when they returned. 

After I was done I was walking around camp, I haven’t felt right since the time on the island. I realized I haven’t had my monthly. I thought it was nothing it must have been the stress over what happened. I was walking until I was sick, I ran until I was behind a tree. Where I was sick I hadn’t heard anyone come up behind, until I felt someone grabbed my hair and held it back. 

After I was done I righted myself and looked at the person that held my hair. 

“Hey Charles.” I said.  
“Are you ok?”  
“Yeah I am.” I said.  
“I don’t think you are because you been sick a lot as of late.”  
“Don’t worry about me.” I said before I tried to walk away.

He grabbed my arm, “I do worry about you.” He said as he pulled me against his body.  
“I know you do, I’ll get checked out soon, you have my word.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Your welcome.”

We went back work I tried to keep busy, while I worried about the future. I no longer could see the future of the gang or myself it was broke up into images. It was like this thing I could do stopped working, I was afraid of the outcome. 

I knew the way Dutch was always driving everyone into hell, by always causing trouble and putting them in sights again and again. There future wasn’t there anymore, I knew Arthur was sick. He tries to hide it but I’ve seen him coughing and it’s getting worse. 

Night started to fall, they haven’t returned yet. Only when it was fully dark that I felt them coming, soon as I felt them they rode in. Jack was with them happy and safe on John horse, I watched as father and son get off the horse. Jack ran to Abigail, the pair hugged and she acted like she never wanted to let go.

I felt a ping of pain, I wished that I was her. Just then I realized that might be the case, why I’m late for my monthly. I could be with child and Arthur was the father. I was deep in thought I failed notice, Arthur standing behind me.

I didn’t react when he held me tight against his body, it was until he dragged his lips along my neck. I shivered as the chills shot thru me.

I tried to squirm away from him, but his grip on my hips was to tight as he held me to him. 

“Don’t do that.” I wined in a whimpered.  
“Why? I enjoy the reaction that comes over you when I drag my lips along your beautiful neck.” He said as he ground himself into me.

“Yes, I know I feel your reaction against my ass.”  
”What do you say to we have our own party?”  
“Yes, please I need you inside me right now.”  
“Then follow me.” he said as he pulled away from me.

He lead me to a run down shack on the outskirts of the properly that the house sits on. He opened the door and took me inside. There was a fire going and bear skin on the floor, Charles was leaning against the wall. I turned around to see Arthur lock the door. 

I was confused and wondering what he has in mind, “Your not going to ask Charles to leave?”  
“No,”

Charles moved away from the wall and grabbed my hand.

“Arthur and I talked about this.” He said.  
“Oh have you?” I asked as I willing allowed him to bring me to the bear skin. I wasn’t sure about allowing this but it didn’t matter because Arthur was near by and I was happy with that. 

A question that no answer or responds. 

Charles knelt on the skin beside me while Arthur stayed by the door and watched. While Charles removed his shirt, I knew I didn’t really want this because I didn’t want denied again, but I lost train of thought when Arthur came over and pressed his body against me. 

Any doubts I had were gone, I did want this I wanted both of them.

As he started unbuttoning my blouse, I leaned back against him. I loved the way how his body felt against mine, I loved how it made me feel safe and whole.

Just having him there makes me lose all my sense, I lost track of Charles for a moment. When I felt him tugging at the waistline of my skirt and knickers. I became aware of him, I watched as he pulled them down I kicked them off my ankles.

Charles stood up and kissed me as he pushed off my blouse, Charles broke the kiss just long enough for Arthur to remove the last of my clothes. Arthur pressed his bare chest against my back as he kissed my shoulder and down my back. Charles and I went back to kissing while I felt Arthur move away from me, I felt lost without having his body pressed against me.

But that didn’t stop my hands which were on Charles pants, I unzipped his pants and pushed them down.

I broke away from him and laid down on the bear skin, I looked up and saw two naked men. They both had a hungry lustful look in there eyes, I felt small being surround by two large men. As they knelt both sides of me, they made me feel like a mouse caught between cats. 

Arthur made the first move towards me, he kissed my lips before making his way down to my breast. As I laid there enjoying the feeling of his mouth and hands on me. I felt Charles run his hands along my legs, until he gripped my thighs and opening my legs for him to settle himself between my thighs. 

I looked passed between Arthur and Charles, I moaned and bucked my hips to meet his face as he licked and sucked me. 

Arthur moved down to my legs and switched places with Charles, after a while they switched again. Arthur and I kissed while Charles had his turn between my thighs. 

As we kissed I felt Charles slip himself into me, I didn’t care about the fact that I hadn’t allowed him in me again. It felt so right to have him inside me again, the feeling of his body rocking against mine felt so right.

Arthur kissed his way to my breast, with one in his mouth he caressed the other his hand.

Minutes later Charles placed his hand on Arthur shoulder, without words between the two men, Arthur moved away from me. Charles pulled out, I stared at the two of them wondering what was going on. 

For a moment I thought they were just going to leave me like this, laying on the floor moaning and pleading for more. Until Charles flipped me over on my hands and knees, he slipped himself back inside. 

Arthur moved closer and sat down front of me, I leaned into him. I kissed him before kissing down his body, until I got to the prize I was seeking. I took him into my mouth and sucked on him.

Within moments my body was pleading for release, I wanted to cum and I could tell that Arthur was aching for a release. Charles pulled out and came on my legs, I quickly crawled over Arthur’s body and slipped him into me.

He laughed at my frantic behavior, “Why are you laughing at me?”  
“Because I’ve never seen you so eager to get what you want.” He said.  
“You’re the only the one that will give me the release I seek.”  
“Fair enough love.” He said before he kissed me. 

I pulled our lips apart as I started to ride him, within moments he switched places with me. 

I wanted nothing more then just let him take control of me, make me feel compete with him. We came together, but that didn’t stop him. He gave a few more thrusts before he collapsing onto my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, as he kissed my neck. 

We laid there together before we realized we had forgotten about Charles being there with us. He was getting dressed, we stopped and told him that he could stay. 

“No, I cannot stay.”  
“Please.” I pleaded.  
“I’m sorry Iris.”

He finished getting dressed and left us. 

Arthur and I stayed in each others arms, “Is that why you said it met nothing to you when you two had sex before?” He asked.  
“We had sex but he never came in me, you’re the only one that made me feel so compete. I never understood why and he never gave me a reason.”  
“Hmm maybe he doesn’t want to take that feeling away from you.” He said.  
“It doesn’t matter, you’re the only one that could me feel that way.”  
“I love you.” He said.  
“I love you too.” 

Soon as we were quiet, we fell asleep.

Morning came, we got up and dressed. I helped get everything ready for the day.

After I was done I was walking around camp when I saw Charles up and walking around. I ran up to him and greeted him, he gave me little hug before he went back to work. I stood there wondering what was going on with him, Arthur came over to me. 

He slipped his arm around my waist, “Leave him be, he needs to think.” he said as he kissed my cheek. 

“Alright.”  
“I’ll be back later, Dutch got invited to some party in the city. So I have to go with him, Bill and Hosea have to go with him also. But I would like it if you went with us, in the meantime I have to deal with something in the city.” He said as he pulled away from me.  
“Of course I will come with you. That thing you have to do has something about the letter? I saw someone carry it to your tent.” I said.  
“Yes,”  
“Alright.” I said.

Soon after I saw him leave, I walked over to Abigail the only one person that could help in trying to figure out what’s going on. After telling her about my problem, she agreed to go with me to the doctor in the city.  
I got on Misty while she grabbed one of the gangs extra horses. 

We rode into the city, it was the first time I’ve been in an actual city.

“I don’t like it here.”  
“Me neither but you want to know if your pregnant, so we have to be here.” She said as she took the lead going to the doctors. 

We asked where it was because we knew we would be walking around for hours if we didn’t. We still had some work that needs to be done before tonight. 

We got there and hitched the horse, I had a rush of nervous while we walked thru the door.

“I’ll wait here.”  
“Ok.”

I walked up to the window, I asked to see the doctor. The woman at the desk let me in, I told him the problem then he had me lay down on the table. I laid there staring at the ceiling, I waited until he was done.

“Alright miss you can sit back up.”  
“Well, are going to tell me?” I asked as I sat up.  
“The answer is yes you are pregnant about a little over a month.”  
“Thank you.”

He left without a word, I started to get dressed. That time on the island, my first time having sex got me pregnant well it could been the other times after. When we were sex crazed beasts, I never thought a drink could do that to someone. 

Then I started to thinking more as reality of the situation came over me, shit what am I going to do? I thought as the sadness came over me thoughts of raising a child alone without it’s father. Left alone with just a reminder of the time and love we shared. I bursted into tears as I finished up and walked to where Abigail was.

“What’s wrong?”  
I forced myself to stop crying, “I’m pregnant.”  
“That’s good news.”  
“To me it isn’t.” I said.  
“What do you mean by that?”

I made her promise not tell anyone else before I told her what was to come.

“Arthur he’s going to die?”  
“Yes,”

I stood there watching her for a moment as tears starting to form in her eyes, she blinked them away.

“Is there a way for it not to be true?”  
“No, you haven’t noticed how he’s been coughing and trying to hide it?”  
“I don’t know, how could I can believe that.”  
“It’s true Arthur has TB and he’s dying. Oh hell with it believe or not I don’t care. “ I said as I left her standing there.

I went to the streets and I got onto Misty, I wandered around the city. 

Until I spotted Arthur and Marry going into the theater. I hitched Misty outside and followed them inside, I sat a few rows behind them as they watched the show I kept an eye on them. 

Hour later the show was over, I followed them outside and followed them to the trolley. That’s when I made a move, I shoved her away from him.

“Alright bitch if you couldn’t take the first hint, I’m sure you’ll take this one. If you ever make connect with him again I will kill you.”  
“Arthur.” She whimpered.

He just stood there stunned and frozen for a moment, before he grabbed and pulled me away from her.

“What the hell has gotten into you woman?” He asked as he angrily held me to his side.  
“Arthur I’m pregnant.” 

The words rolled out of my mouth before I could stop them. Shit I didn’t mean to tell him like this. I thought as I covered my mouth with my hands.

“Merry you need to go and don’t contact me again.”  
“Ok.” she said and left. 

After she was gone, he took me to a bench and sat me down. 

“Iris? Did I hear you right? You are pregnant.”  
“Yes, I wish I weren’t pregnant.” I said as tears started streaming down my face.

“Why?”  
“Because I know your sick.”  
“That warning you told me after we met, I didn’t have a heart to tell you it’s to late. He gave me something that’s going to kill me.  
“Yes, you have tuberculosis because that’s what Tomas Drowns had.”  
“I don’t what to say beside I’m sorry.”  
“There nothing to say.” I starting crying harder. 

He had no clue how to react or what to do, he did the best thing he could have done. He wrapped me into his arms and held me, I moved my legs a crossed his lap while he held me. 

The rest of the day went by without much going on, beside me working while Arthur stayed around camp. Doing some work and helping out when it needed it, he left me alone to think. I didn’t want to be left alone, I needed to be with him or Charles. Charles wasn’t talking to me, every time I tried to talk to him he would say he was to busy to talk or have anytime to be with me. 

So I went to Arthur and spent the day with him in his comfort, while working around the camp.

Night came we got ready for the party in the city, we all got in the coach. I sat between Dutch and Arthur I couldn’t get passed how handsome Arthur looked.

The party was boring and uneventful bunch of high class people talking about stupid shit. It wasn’t until the fireworks started it got interesting. Arthur and I were away from the other guest, we stood on the outskirts of the properly watching the fireworks. 

Afterwards we decided to go into house, looked around for any kind of information that we could use.

After a while we finally found some, we went to Dutch.

“Oh you two actually did some work instead going off your own to fuck.” He said it like he knew what we were doing, he was right but we did something useful afterwards.

“We did some work Dutch why can’t you be happy with that?” I asked.

I started to say something else but Arthur grabbed my shoulder to stop to from talking.  
“Fine.” Dutch said as he watched Bill and Hosea walk up the stairs. 

After everyone got what they came for we started to walk out of the house.

Arthur and I were behind everyone, “You really need to keep yourself from snapping at him.” He said softly.  
“But he acts like we are useless and don’t ever get anything done any more.”  
“I know but don’t snapped at him it only will cause problems.” he said.  
“Ok fine.”

We went back home, in Arthur’s room. I don’t have a room in the house, my bed is in the back of a wagon. It was Dutch idea because he thought it was fitting to put me out with the bugs.

I was sitting on Arthur bed, I watched as he closed and locked the door.

“This better.”  
“Yes, it’s better then sleeping with bugs.”  
“Your welcome to share this room with me.”  
“But what about Dutch?”  
“Don’t worry about it, let me handle him. I know he’s being cruel to you, the ladies tell me everything. I’m afraid that he knows about us and he doesn’t like you around me.”  
“I don’t know how he would know.”  
“I think he just figure it out, after I was captured.” He said with a worried tone as he turned to face me.

“Yeah that’s would make sense.”  
“You know something of him?” He asked as he walked over to me and stopped a few feet from me.

“Yes, I think your figuring it out to. Right Arthur?”  
“Yes, something don’t feel right.”  
“Well, it’s late and we should get to bed.”  
“Do you have something for me to sleep in?”  
“Yeah you can use one of my shirts, but you know I don’t care if you sleep naked.”  
“Arthur.”  
“Hey I’m joking beside if you were I wouldn’t let you sleep.” He said as he took a shirt out of the chest and handed it to me.

I tried to get out of the ball grown, he stood there watching while he removes his jacket and shirt.

“Oh let me help you.” He said as he walked over to me.  
“Would you?”

He helped me out of the grown, soon as it was off. 

He went to change his clothes while I put his shirt on, after that I was more comfortable.

I laid down on his bed, he curled up behind me and put his hand up my shirt and pulled me more against him.

We fall asleep soon as we were comfortable.

Morning came I woke alone, I got up and changed my clothes. I noticed the sun was higher up in the sky, it was sometime in the afternoon. I looked around the room and found a note, it was from Arthur telling me why he didn’t want to wake me and where he was.

The rest of the day was uneventful without Arthur around me, Charles still wasn’t talking to me. When I tried he would just keep working, I felt alone without any comfort from Charles or Arthur. I understood Arthur had working but Charles had stayed in camp, he could be my comfort if he only spent time with me instead of leaving me alone.


	8. The Gripping Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Arthur away she no longer has any comfort. Fear gets to her, she spend her time alone in Arthur room.
> 
> Charles tries to make for the he left her alone by taking for to the Indians.

Days turned into weeks nothing really happened, but one day Arthur came back the same day we were attacked. The attack I didn’t see coming, I was wondering why I’m not seeing anything happening before it happens. I was scared because I no longer able to see but I felt things.

Poor Kieran was killed I wasn’t really to sad about it because I didn’t really know him. Arthur was kinda shaken by it, I asked why then he told me that Kieran saved him. I watched as Arthur rode off to meet Dutch in the city, I had a bad feeling and I knew it wasn’t going to go the way Dutch wants. 

Rest of the day the gang was shaken and on edge because of the attack. I just kept to myself doing chores until I heard a wagon coming. I ran to see who it was, I saw it was Lenny and Dutch without Arthur, fearing something bad happened to Arthur I started crying. 

Lenny walked over to me, “Hey Iris he’s alright.” He said as he put arm around me.  
I gave him a little hug, “Thanks Lenny.”  
“Your welcome.” He said before he left me to help Dutch.

I ran into the house and went to Arthur room, where I stayed for the rest of the day. I no longer felt safe with the gang, Dutch has gotten nasty towards me since Arthur was captured and I’m frightened this made matters worse. 

Night came I cried myself to sleep, I never felt so alone and helpless in my life without Arthur and Charles. Charles still wasn’t talking to me, the only comfort I had when Arthur wasn’t around.

Morning came I was walking around when Dutch came up to me.

At first he did nothing but only stared at me.

“Why?” He asked.  
‘What?”  
“I was good to you and you turn around and stab me in the back.”  
“What are you going on about Dutch?” I asked.  
“Know you all to well what I’m talking about, you changed Arthur.” He said as he slammed me against a tree.  
“I did no such thing Dutch.”  
“What is it about you that has him so hot under the collar?”  
“Let me go.” I pleaded.  
“No, I want to know.” He said as he started ripping at my clothes.  
“Please don’t do this.”  
“On your knees.” He commanded.  
“No,”  
“Do it or I’ll be forced to hurt you.” He said.

Fearing what he would do to me, I got on my knees and closed my eye tightly. I just heard him walk away from me, I opened my eyes just in time to see him walking away from me. I stood up and ran into the house and went to Arthur’s room. 

Days later I still haven’t left his room, I was laying on his cot in a ball and crying. I was gripped by the fear of what would happen to me if I left the room. 

Arthur came back to camp and was greeted by a lot worried people, they tried to get me to come out but they didn’t have much luck because I refused. 

Arthur came up to his room and found me in a ball and crying. 

He picked me up and held me in his lap.

“What’s going on?”  
“I’m so frighten.” I cried as I threw my arms around his neck.  
“Shh.. It’s ok.” He said softy as he rocked me.  
“Where have you been? Dutch has been wondering where you’ve been? Dutch is getting really scary, he’s really gone off the deep end.” I cried as I clung to him.

“Iris it’s ok, everything going to be fine.” He pulled me from his chest and looked me in the eye.  
“I know your trying to comfort me but it’s not fine.”  
“I know your scared, just try to be strong.” He said as he wiped the tears away.  
“Please stop using words to comfort me, words don’t always work actions are better.”  
“Fair enough.” He said as he wrapped his arms around me.

He just held me to him, I was starting to feel at peace, we were at peace just the two of us. I must have started to fell asleep in his arms. 

Someone started banging on the door, “Please let me go.” I cried as I struggled to free myself.  
“It’s me, calm down.” He said gently.  
“Arthur.” I whimpered.  
“Shh your ok as long as I’m with you, I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

I relaxed against his chest, “Arthur I know your in there, I need to talk to you.” Dutch yelled thru the door.  
“Please don’t leave me.” I said in a panic.  
“I’ll see what he wants, maybe he’ll just be happy with that.”  
“Ok.” I said as I moved away from him and laid down.  
“I love you don’t you forget that.” He said as he stood.  
“I love you too.”

I watched as he walked away from me again, after he was gone to talk to Dutch. I decided it was ok to go down stairs and went to work, I tried to keep busy so I wouldn’t be so scared. I looked up to see them ride off. 

Dutch didn’t come until late in the night, I was asleep when I woke up and heard foot steps. I heard muffled voices from John, Abigail and Dutch. Then more foot steps, I looked out the door as Dutch and John walked down the stairs.

Morning after I woke after waking to me screaming in my dream. I got up and went to the window, I saw Arthur sitting on the dock.

I wanted to go to him, so I pushed passed my fear and went downstairs to go to him. After I walked up to him, he took me inside. We could hear Hosea and Dutch talking about robbing the bank. As we neared the room, Dutch started yelling at Arthur.

“Leave him alone Dutch, he needs to rest before we make the move on the bank.” Hosea said.  
“Don’t tell me what he needs and what he don’t, he needs to be in here and not with her.”  
“Just leave them be.” Hosea said.  
“Fine,”

Arthur took me to our room, he sat on the bed. While I stood in front of him, he looked worried. I didn’t blame him, I just wrapped my arms around him and held him to my stomach. 

He pulled me into his lap, we sat there holding each other. 

Moments later,

He started kissing my neck, ”Arthur you know what your doing?”  
“Yes,” He said as he started unbuttoning my blouse.  
“I don’t think we should be doing this.”  
“Is it hurting you?” He asked.  
“A bit.”  
“Please let me, this might be the last time we get to be like this. With you carrying my child after all.”

Then the sadness struck me when I remembered this would be the last time we got to make love.  
“Alright.”

I moved off his lap and took off my dress and whatever was under the dress, after I was naked I went to him.

I helped him out of his clothes, soon as he was naked he didn’t waste time in pinning me down to the bed. I wrapped myself around him, I cherished this time we had making love to each other. 

I cherished every moment we had together, since our first time. But this moment I cherished more, I didn’t want it to end.

After we were done I started crying.

“I can’t do this.” I cried.  
He pulled me against his chest and held me, “Why don’t we just run away?” I cried.  
“You know that it’s not the easy.”  
“Yeah.” I said. 

We just laid there holding each other, not saying a word and enjoying each other company and comfort. As we laid there we were fighting off sleep, until it took us.

We slept the rest of the day, in the night we were twisted up with each other nothing in the world mattered. After a while we fell asleep, we slept until morning. He was the first to wake up, he got dressed soon after he leaned over and kissed me. 

I woke and threw my self into his arms, “Please don’t leave me.” I cried.  
“I can’t stay it’s..”  
“No, don’t tell me it’s going to be ok. Because I know it’s not going to be ok.” I cried.  
“I don’t know what to say to that.”  
“Don’t say anything just hold me.”

He sat down and scooped me into his arms, where we slept the time we had left holding and kissing.

Within moments Dutch was banging on the door and demanding that Arthur come out. 

“I have to go.” he said with sadness in his voice.  
“I know, I love you.”  
“And I love you too. I wish things were different.” he said.  
“I know.”

With that said he left, I just laid there and cried as I saw fleshes of them at the bank. All that careful planning that Hosea and Dutch did went to shit, I saw Hosea get killed like I was there. Then I saw them escaping to the roof, then I saw Lenny get killed. I saw them going to a building to hid out, then I saw them on a ship.

I stayed in bed for a little while longer before I got up and dressed. I went to Arthur’s chest and found the coat he gave me to cover myself after Les ripped my blouse up. I grabbed the coat and put it on, I never wanted to let it go because it was the only comfort I had. 

The day went like nothing is going on, it’s was a normal day. But I was over come by fear and sadness, I tried to stay strong as day turned into night. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t so I walked around and checked on Misty many times.

Morning came and Charles came back alone, Sadie put us together and made work on packing. We left the house in the swamp, I rode Misty trying to keep my fears at bay.

After we were settled in a run down place hidden deep in the swamp.

Charles walked over to me, I was angry at him. He left me alone all this time, he acted like he wasn’t important to me anymore or he didn’t care about me anymore.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a while, I was just trying to figure out something.”  
“You hurt me, where were you when I needed you?” I yelled at him.  
“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you. You still want to meet the Indians?”  
“Yes,”  
“Here I’ll take you to meet some. Maybe you can live there with them, it’s better then staying with us.”  
“I agreed because I didn’t want to stay with the gang anymore.” 

We left to meet the Indians, he spent the day with me there trying to make it up to me.


	9. The Only Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a month she started to expect that Arthur has died, to him find her again with Indians. With him sick and dying he has Charles agree to take care from her and his child.  
> But she another idea in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Micah death at the end is for the people that wouldn't see Micah die at the end of chapter 6

Weeks turned into a month, I was getting use to the idea of being without Arthur. There was no word on if he was dead or alive. If I had to raise this child alone, then it will be alone. I can’t love another like I loved Arthur, I refused to love another man.

It was a normal day with the Indians, they welcomed me into the tribe like I was one of them.

I was walking around, when I bumped into Arthur. He was a shadow of a man that he once was. He was healthy and full of life, now sickly and skinny, he looked like he was about to die.

“Sorry miss I didn’t mean to bump into you.” He said.  
“Arthur, your alive.” I cried as I threw my arms around him.   
“Iris, Charles didn’t tell me you were here, I thought you ran away.”   
“No, he brought me here after everything happened, he wanted me safe. Why are you here?”  
“Charles asked me to talk to Rains Fall about his son.”  
“Ok he’s in his tent.” I said as I started to walk away. 

He grabbed my arm, “Aren’t you happy to see me?”  
“Yes, I am.” I said with an unsure tone.   
“Oh you must think I’m to busy to spend time with you.”  
“You always are.”  
“Well, you have a right to be angry about that. I’ll go talk to Rains Falls, then if I have time I’ll spend time with you.”   
“Ok.”

He walked away and went to talk to Rains Fall, I stood there for a moment. 

I went back to doing what I was doing, I noticed that they left. 

I went to my tent and laid down and cried. 

A day went by and I haven’t left my tent, I was laying on my side with my back facing the door. When I heard talking just outside, then foot steps. I heard someone coming inside, I didn’t move or see who it was. The person came over to me and laid down, then I felt the familiar comfort of a embrace that I thought I would never feel again. 

I sighed, “I’ve missed you.” I said sadly.  
“I’ve missed you too.” He said as he pulled me closer.   
“I thought you were dead.”  
“Not yet, but I have no idea of how much longer I have. I’m glad to be here with you, I’m glad your safe.” He said as he pulled away and sat up.

“This place isn’t all that safe with the army doing what it’s doing.” I sat up and looked at him.  
“Your safer here then with us, Dutch really went crazy he’s blaming me and John for everything that happened.”  
“ I know he’s crazy, that’s why I’m glad to be here.” I said.

“Because I don’t want you getting sick, you should live and raise our baby.”  
“I don’t want to do it alone.” I said as I started crying.  
“I know I wish you didn’t have to but it’s the way it is.” He said as he pulled me to him and held me as I cried against his chest.

We laid back down, he just held me against him. 

“You know I can’t stay here with you.”   
“I know but you can stay here for the night can’t you?”  
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The rest of the day we never left each other, we stay snuggled up with each other. Night came we fell asleep, the next morning he woke me up.

“Iris I have to go now.”   
“I know, I love you.” I said as I started crying.  
“I love you too.” He said as he got up and left. 

The coming weeks things got worse for us, the army made life here unbearable Eagle flies grew angrier. He got arrested, Charles showed up one day. I was very angry with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Arthur was alive?”  
“I thought you knew.”  
“No, I know nothing anymore, all I see is nothing but darkness. It was going on a month without any word about him.” I said.  
“What’s going on with him that make you think he would be dead?”  
“Arthur is dying.” I cried. 

Charles wrapped his arms around me, “What’s wrong with him?”  
“He has TB.”  
“I’m sorry I didn’t know.” He said as he held me to him, while I cried into his chest.   
“No, don’t try in comfort me not after you left me alone when I needed you the most. Just say it, you brought me here because you wanted me to leave you, because you don’t care about me anymore.” I said as I shoved him away from me.

“Your right I don’t care about you anymore but I wanted you safe that’s why you’re here. After I saw how happy you were with Arthur I couldn’t face it.” He said as he grabbed my arm when he was about to walk away.

“That’s your fault you know, why couldn’t you really show me that you cared for me. That time we spent together when Arthur was wounded, I would have been happy with you too only if you let me feel compete with you.”

“I’m sorry Iris, I didn’t know you were going to feel this way.”  
“It’s to late, when you hurt me so much.”  
“Please let me make it up to you.”  
“Why?  
“Because your alone and going to raise a child by yourself.”

“That’s not a good enough reason, I need someone that’s always going to be there when I need them. All you proved is that you can leave me alone when I need you. Arthur was always there for me even when he was busy he found time. Clearly I can’t ask the same of you.” I said sounding hurt.

“I still love you, I tried not to care about you.” He said before he kissed me.  
I broke the kiss, “I love you too.” I said with a sigh. 

He kissed me again, I just wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back. 

We stood there kissing until we heard a noise behind us.  
“Oh hi Arthur.” I said as I pulled myself away from Charles. 

I walked over to Arthur and hugged him, he welcomed the hug.

“Charles can you please look after her?”  
“Yes, I’ll look after her when your gone.”   
“She told you?”  
“Yes, she told me that your dying. We better get going soon, first you should talk to Rains Fall.”  
“Yes,”

They left me standing there, moments later Arthur popped out and they left to get Eagle flies.

Another intense week and Eagle Flies finally had enough, he left with a war party and Rains Fall followed him. I jumped onto Misty and followed to see where they were going. I figured they knew where Arthur and the gang was, I wanted to know. 

I followed them to a cave where the gang was at, I slipped off Misty and ran over to Arthur. Dutch was staring at me with a look that should scare me but I didn’t care anymore. It didn’t matter because Eagles Flies was asking for there help. 

After Rains Fall begged Eagle Flies not to attack, he left despite what his father wanted.

The next morning after Dutch and the others left to help, Marry-beth, Karen, Pearson and Uncle left. Arthur was back and he looked like he just wanted to go somewhere and die. He tried to go sleep, but his coughing kept him awake.

So he went to Dutch, they stood there talking until Dutch said they were going to rob a train. They left, I was alone with Tilly, Jack, Susan and Abigail. 

Several hours later,

I was talking with Susan when I felt trouble coming, I tried to get to Abigail but she was taken.  
Tilly, Jack and I went to look for the others.

We found them when they were just coming back, I noticed John wasn’t with them. I figured he must of got arrested or killed, I hoped he was ok for the sake of Jack and Abigail. Jack was a brave boy he looked worried and sad but wasn’t in tears. When Arthur told him that he going after his momma, after the others left. 

I always knew Dutch was truly a heartless bastard, I knew he wouldn’t care about Abigail. When Tilly told them she was going to be tried of murder, he didn’t care about anyone or anything but getting rich and running away.

After Arthur told Tilly to go, I went with Sadie and Arthur to go get Abigail back. He didn’t argue with the fact, I wanted to help because he knew I wouldn’t let them go without me. 

I stuck by him as we fought our way to the Van Horn trading post, we finally got to where Sadie had gone.

We killed the men inside and freed Abigail, we ran away until we finally got away from the men.

Arthur stopped us, he got off the back of his horse. He put Abigail on Sadie horse, after telling what he thought happened to John because she wanted to know. “Jack is safe he’s with Tilly Sadie will take you to him, now the three of you leave. I need to have little chat before I get sicker.”  
“Arthur.” I cried.  
“Iris you need to go with them, there nothing left here for you.”   
“No,”  
“I’m not going to argue with you, your not coming with me. What I have to do next I have to do it alone, now all of you get out of here.” He said as he got on his horse. 

He left towards camp, we went towards where Tilly was.

I stopped Misty a miles down the road, “I can’t do this.” I said as I took after Arthur before they could stop me.

I am not going to leave him, I love him to much. I don’t care that he wanted me to live and raise our child with Charles. I didn’t want to live without him, refuse to go on without him. 

By the time I got back to the cave, the wagons were on fire and it was dark and foggy. Then I understood the dream I kept seeing nothing but darkness and the sounds of me crying and screaming for Arthur. It all made sense this is the way it is, I’m met to follow him. I thought as I followed the gun shots. 

“Arthur.” I cried as I came across Johns and Arthurs dead horse. I was glad that Jack still had his father. Abigail was lucky that she has John at her side.

I followed where they might have gone, I managed to stay unseen and on there heels.

I saw them going up the rock face, I stayed close when they parted ways and Arthur stayed behind to let John get away.   
I stayed where I was standing, I watched as Micah ran toward Arthur knocking them off the cliff.   
“Arthur.” I cried as I climbed down the small drop. 

I watched as they fought, after sometime I saw Arthur getting weaker and having a hard time fighting Micah. 

I watched as the last ounce of Arthur’s strength leaves him, he’s overwhelmed while Micah hits him. I watched as Arthur crawled towards the gun, when he finally gets to it Dutch stops him from picking it up.

I picked up the gun that was dropped when they fell over the cliff. 

I held it up on Micah, “Leave him alone, you two did enough to him.”   
“How do you know?” Micah asked.  
“She knows Micah, she know everything I don’t know how but she knows.” Dutch said.  
“Oh really.” Micah said as he moved towards me. 

I shot Micah in the chest just before he got me, he fell down with a look of surprise. 

I held the gun on Dutch, “Now leave, this is all your fault.”   
“You can’t tell me what to do.”   
“You were never the boss of me.” I said before taking a shot at Dutch. I didn’t see him go for his gun, it wasn’t until I heard a gun shot and felt the pain that I realized what happened. 

My legs give out and I fell to the ground, laying there looking at Dutch. 

“Now I’ll leave.” Dutch said as he held his arm. 

I watched as he walked away, leaving us alone. I tried to crawl over to Arthur, I found that I didn’t have any use of my legs anymore. So I dragged myself over to him with tears running down my face, soon after I got there I laid my head on his shoulder.

“I love you.” I said weakly.   
“Me too.”

Those were the last words between us, we died soon after those words were said.


End file.
